Blue, this isn't about money either - it's (warning) Heavy following Eva's Story ... so don't read it if doing Monday Morning DD ...
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I waited til just now to read the link to Eva's Story, guessing what it would say. The stoic straightforwardness of her writing is true to form in the common bravery of so many cancer sufferers attitude. It's inspiring to know that such an inner well of strength exists to ease the fearful burden of what she was facing ... and the way she writes gives the real power of Factual Reality to what she says.
To me, the saddest part is when she talks of drawing away from her daughter ... that's the second level up from the final step called "retreat and relinquishment" in that handout the hospice workers give out to the families to prepare them for what's coming. It's so awful when a person withdraws emotionally from those who love them. It makes the loss become a longer process dragging on like torture, and the hurt and anger the behavior accompanying it naturally makes some of the memories that should've been happy ones, hard to think about after they're gone instead. I think it's the worst part.
But is a sudden shock of loss amid happiness to tear one up abruptly even worse than that? Or is the very worst - standing by helplessly unable to stop the trainwreck of one bent on a senseless course of self destruction? It's all so hard for those grieving a loss & left behind - however it happens. But agreed - the younger the person is, the worse it is.
I had delayed reading Eva's Story because of a heartbreaking tragedy around here - earlier (now yesterday) evening we learned a boy who was in school with my daughter died from a drug overdose over the weekend. He was 16 or 17, and the kids who've known him since kindergarten are taking it hard. When he was younger he was in their circle of friends but not the last few years when he grew apart from the others. Will now always remember him as he was - a nice boy with a good heart. It's so sad now he won't have more opportunities in this lifetime to be turning himself around from the trainwreck of drugs. My daughter was so very upset - the kids feel guilty for avoiding him because he was getting into trouble and acting different - but really it was he who turned away from them and drove them away. Seems to me they tried to reach him as best they could - but he was no longer interested in being around them, either.
This is awful.
So it'll only be right to get dressed up in dull colors and attend a visiting and/or the funeral. I knew his parents when the kids were younger, and my daughter will be going with her friends. It goes without saying how I'm dreading this week now. Hope it won't be at the same funeral home where my parents had theirs. Probably many of us parents who've drifted apart after the kids left elementary school when they found different friends and went more on their own after school while us Mommys put our noses to the grind$tone in earnest will be there. Already predicting how upsetting it will be (a Magnitude 9.6). As always some people will blurt out weird things while others won't know anything to say but to ask nonstop questions or talk about business - so the best I can do there is keep flitting around the place not settling anywhere for long enough to get drawn into a faux pas or a clutch if you know what I mean (unless by chance it's someone in the grieving family who wants me to sit by them) ... this is so sad.
I wasn't going to talk about this here but might as well after reading about Eva ... it's another time stocks take a back seat to Real Life. Writing out my thoughts about what to expect will make these next few days pass by easier now.
Techride Friends, Thanks for listening if you got this far but can't say I didn't warn you it was going to be heavy. No reply is necessary.
JOANA |
