A recent secret communication has been discovered....
As it concerns matters directly related to the operations of AINNON, please do not continue if you are not prepared for materials rated lower on the scale than PG-13.
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Ol' "bull", head of the Cult of AINNON, recently passed this decree down to all of the rank and file trough the mail slot in his penthouse office:
MEMORANDUM:
To assure the highest levels of quality for bashing and squishing, and to promote productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.*.T.). We are diligently trying to give our employees more S.H.*.T. than anyone else.
If, for any reason, you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.*.T. on the job, please see your area manager, at the Dumpster. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.*.T. LIST, as our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.*.T. you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.*.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.*.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING
(E.A.T. S.H.*.T.). Since our managers took S.H.*.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.*.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.*.T. already. If you are full of S.H.*.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.*.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.*.T. will get the S.H.*.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.*.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to "puddinhead", our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.*.T.).
Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.*.T.); Headquarters, AINNON
authorized by: Member 4561252;
** AINNON - the American Institute for the Nattering Naybobs Of Negativism, permanently headquartered at:
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