Of designated hitters, TV time outs, and CNBC.
I am concerned that a prolonged correction or, god forbid, bear market could hurt CNBC's ratings. After all, who wants to watch that sour-puss, Pisani, gloating over every point drop in the "other" market or that bald guy with the hair plugs ... what's his name? .... cheerfully predicting suicide for all day traders? Something must be done or viewers will desert and advertisers will start heading for the exist!
Television pretty much ruins everything it touches anyway, so why be squeamish? First, we need a Wall Street rule that all floor traders have to dress out in sweats with large numbers on their backs. This will make it easier for Pisani and the other guy -- that complete moron with the blow-dry hair who goes into breathless paroxysms in the front window of the so-called "NASDAQ market site" --to give us their play-by-commentaries.
We already have a scoreboard bug, color commentators, and periodic "specials" on mythical milestones but what we don't have is Instant Replay! It would be so-o-o-o-o much easier to understand every second of action on the field -- sorry, the Floor -- if the play-by-play announcers had magic pens they could use to diagram the trades on the Instant Replay screen. ("See that, Bill? Number 54 from the well known firm of Scammit & Runn just made a bundle with a back door play. Here's how it works.....")
I'm sure CNBC can dream up equivalents to the designated hitter rule, the TV time out, and (for Kernan) the bogie golfer's Mulligan. Let 'em see the Nielsens in a week or so and they'll be falling over themselves to come up with something. |
