X, I swore that I'd stay out of this discussion as I am on both sides of it so that my contributions would probably seem ambiguous. However, I have a personal bit of info that might prove of interest: During the course of my marriage, when I proposed adoption of the child that a friend was carrying who did not want to have an abortion, my husband was appalled--raising a child not ours?!!!
And I was appalled in turn. Of course, I wanted a child of our union--our love, the genetic imperative, whatever. That was not the issue--for me. It was a matter of living out the "pro-life" libertarian belief (cutting through the cant with one's own life) and, far more important, giving a child a home and a life that offered happiness and a center. (For a time, I dated and came close to marrying a person who had spent his formative years in an orphanage so I know how important the sense of a "center" can be.)
We are not married today. Even today, my soul curls at the edges at his reaction. I was not suggesting that we not have children of our own bodies; I was suggesting that we do one step more.
As for the sense of loss when we women pass our reproductive years, I think it is partly as you state, the loss of our reproductive abilities. I think it is also that we fear what our lower hormone levels may suggest in terms of our sexual attractiveness to our husbands, lovers, whatever.
I have posted on this subject before, so I shall not belabor it. I shall simply say that I think that women underestimate themselves. |
