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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi

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To: Rambi who wrote (49440)	4/20/2000 7:34:00 PM
From: Crocodile	Read Replies (1) of 71178

I know women who think it is A TREAT to go shopping!!!!!!!! Yes, croc! I kid you not. Really, they think it is FUN! They like it! They travel in packs and do lunch. My mother-in-law- an otherwise sane and worthy person- frequently spends a day shopping with other retired women. I can't think of a more unpleasant thing to do. Which is why I'm having a second glass of wine and besides now it's five o'clock traffic... I can't handle shopping at all... with the possible exception of wandering through new or used bookstores and the kinds of stores that sell oddball cooking utensils and wine glasses and such... Can't stand going into clothing stores... My mother has stopped asking me to go with her because I don't seem to have any aptitude for shopping... The only thing I can seem to think of to do when I go with her is to follow around the store... shuffling along about 15 feet behind her... I did that as a kid and I still do it now... I can't seem to help myself... (I suppose this is a confession or an admission of some kind). Truth is, I'm just bored right out of my tree and I go onto some form of auto-pilot... or maybe it's more like going into cruise missile mode... like some heat-seeking guidance system... programmed to dog my mother through the endless racks of dresses and sweaters... All of a sudden my mother will turn around and say something inspirational like, "Why don't you go and LOOK at something?" I shrug slightly and wander off, making a little circuit of the store... maybe stopping to look at the gym socks.. I have a bit of a thing for nice thick brushed cotton ones...white with a stripe around the ankle... Oh yes... a crocodile like me can't have too many pairs of them... Five minutes pass and then I wander back through the racks of clothing and fall in behind once more...silently...uncomplaining... But pretty soon my mom turns around again... I suppose because she feels my eyes gazing (restlessly) at her... and she says, "What! You're back ALREADY!! Didn't you FIND anything?" Me: "I found a couple of pairs of socks..." I take the hint and wander off for another 5 or 10 minutes... maybe to look at t-shirts next... Yep, t-shirts are good for at least a few minutes... Yeah, I just love shopping... about as much as I like being shocked with a cattle prod... ;-}>

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