Snotgobbler? Listen up you two-bit cyber hussy.
Intel is a good brand. Intel makes money. Andy promises me that any day now INTCE will have their audit completed and make their '97, '98, '99 and '00 SEC filings (all the overdue Ks and Qs at once, toad toes!!!). And after that, they're off of the BB and on to a listing on the NASDAQ. You heard right, chump! NASDAQ!!! Then watch your shorts evaporate, you snake-in-the-grass!!!
Just last Wednesday, Andy and me and Craig was out to lunch discussing INTCE's future plans. Do you have any idea of what they plan to do next? Wait a minute! It was Tuesday, not Wednesday. Craig dipped his tie into the Arby's sauce, so that meant we were eating at Arby's and that would be a Tuesday, you piggy-nosed-booger.
Anyway, next we, I mean INTCE, plans to market their products on the backs of cereal boxes to build up brand loyalty with the youngsters so that when they get their first computers, they specifically ask for Intel Inside, grunion butt. Gruel and Intel. What a combination, but you wouldn't understand that, you ignorant short, knock-kneed, 28A cup, oatmeal for brains pervert.
This is where the shareholders get active in their investment. We hang out at computer stores on Saturdays. When we see some moron parent looking at some other computer, say Apple or something with an AMD chip in it (just so's they can save a buck or two, the cheapskates), we casually give a disapproving look, and remind them that their child's future depends upon the decision that they'll make at this moment. If that doesn't work, we tell the child that Mommy and Daddy don't intend to be cheap and mean, it's just that they need the money for extra beer and so they're willing to sacrifice the kid's future to save a buck for an extra beer. Some kids start to cry now, and some parents react in a positive manner and buy the INTCE product.
If that still doesn't work, we have cashiers paid off that when these clods show up at the cash register, they get on the store PA system and loudly proclaim that they just unloaded another lemon and then the whole store erupts in laughter. Embarrassed beyond belief, the parent slowly slinks back to the computer displays, returns the cheap computer and buys a high margin computer. And then the whole store claps in unison. God, it's makes you feel so good to see the smiles on the kids faces after that.
Remember. Except no imitations. Go INTC!!!
KJC |
