What does "controlling a relationship" mean? What do you mean by analyzing and testing? Do you mean trying to gain some sense of honesty? Commitment? For time immemorial, women have had far more at risk than men in a sexual relationship; in the event of an accident they are the ones who will bear the child, often providing sole support, they are the ones who wear the scarlet letter, they are the ones whose lives come to screeching halts, while the male often goes on to live an unencumbered life. If you see a female bias, you are absolutely correct. The women is vulnerable in a way no man can fully comprehend.
Marriage is commitment. You speak as if they were two totally separate things. MArriage is the symbolic, public act that one person makes to another, either before God or before the state, or before friends,declaring that he/she is committed to the other. What in heaven's name is a "Secret marriage"????? One takes more seriously that which is formalized publicly and by ritual.
My boys may think they're ready at 16, and physically they may be, but they are far from ready emotionally. When the time comes, this will not be treated as a "life event" of celebratory nature. It will be treated as a time of serious discussion and reflection on love, responsibility, and respect for another's life. Being emotionally committed is not the same as being ready and able to assume responsibility for another person's well-being. Until they are in a position to do that, they should not be assuming the risk. |
