Let me ask YOU a hypothetical question, then, Master. This actually isn't irrelevant...
A 7 year old boy loses his father to disease. The mother, while working, is desparately poor, and below the poverty level. The boy and his mother live in the poor inner-city of an industrial northern state in the 60's. (A city that less than 5 years later will be torn by one of the worst riots in American history.) Oh, the boy and his mother are white, living in a primarly-black neighborhood.
The boy has grandparents who live in the country, are willing to take care of him, and can offer him a much better, and safer, life. There is also at least one other choice - an aunt and uncle who are well-to-do and live in California.
The mother knows that she cannot offer much to the child, and feels that he would be better-off living with his grandparents. She is also deeply in debt, and keeping the boy will only make it worse. Keeping him will make her life very difficult. She is an alcoholic, and knows little about relating to a child - the boy was "his fathers child" - the father and the boy were best friends - and she had had little contact with him. The child views her as somewhat of an ogre, and she is sure that he hates her. The boy may irrationally blame her for his father's death. She has two childern by a previous marriage (living with the grandparents) and her relationship with them is similar.
My question: should the mother ask the boy what HE wants, and should she heed his wishes? Or should she do what she knows is beset for both of them, without asking? |
