X, again, is is NOT THE SAME SITUATION.
I am talking about a child, in a crisis situation, being allowed to make a choice that affects their life. This is not some whimsy of the child, but something that has been brought-on externally. And it's not an open-ended choice - it's multiple-choice question of, IMO, equal merit.
Under the circumstances, it is incredibly empowering (in a positive way) to a child, to give them a choice at a time when they otherwise have absolutely no control. (A parent has died, and there is nothing they can do about it.)
It is rediculous to say that affording a child that choice will lead to children leaving their parents because they won't let them play Nintendo. I can understand how some parents may fear this, but I think it is an irrational fear.
As somebody who has been through crisis as a child (but certainly not of the magnitude that Elian has been through) I find it demeaning to compare that to words said over a video game.
And, you know, in "the old days", many a parent would let little Billy X pack up his things and start off down the road, smug in the assurance that he'd be calling from a pay phone a half-mile down the road...
There is a difference between the things that kids say in the heat of an argument and don't mean (You can bet I remember telling my father "I wish you were dead!" I also understood that I didn't mean it - that is was just a shocking thing to say to get attention.) and being involved in a serious decision that will affect the rest of their lives.
Most kids DO know the difference. I assure you, at such a time, their thoughts and criteria for decisions are NOT about bubble-gum meals and (always my favorite) coca-cola water fountains. |
