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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi
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To: Ish who wrote (50885)5/20/2000 8:01:00 PM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (1) of 71178
 
Gaugie is toying with us and needs to be punished. I should make him come emcee this party tomorrow.
I was so hoping to relax after this grueling day by reading about the little man's immolation.

Have you ever noticed how your home suddenly looks really bad when you are about to have a party? All the defects that you never notice become GLARING and VERY LARGE. LIke the quilt that has lain in the driveway for weeks now- for no reason- except no one has bothered to pick it up- and now it's all wet and rotted. And the dead plants all around the deck. And the pool- ah- the pool...
So you frantically try to make it look, in one day, as if someone lived there who actually took care of the place.
I vacuumed the outdoor carpet in the poolhouse breezeway and it was so dirty that DIrt Devil rebelled and the bag exploded. That was fun.
Then I decided that what the deck needed was some color, so I rushed out and spent a bunch on beautiful hanging baskets, that I KNOW I will let die next week.
Then Dan and I went to Sam's and bought 200 dollars worth of food. He's been out rewiring the grills; we'll probably gas everyone to death. He also spent two hours staking the baby willow tree that keeps falling over. It falls over every day or two and he keeps buying bigger and stronger supports. Today he came home with these thick metal stakes and wire. You can't see the tree anymore. It's like tree Alcatraz. "That damn tree will never fall down again," he said, with great satisfaction.

I printed a note to all the neighbors telling them to get out their earplugs and begging their indulgence. Threw in a little guilt-- "These are YOUR Southlake Carroll kids and they have done us proud!"
No one would DARE complain.
Ammo is of course NOT HERE. HE and his band are off playing a real GIG- for money- obviously these people haven't heard them play.
I cannot believe I did this-- but I just painted Greek designs on citronella earthenware candles for the tables.
ANd the cards for the directors! They say thank you thank you thank you - a zillion times in tiny letters. Over that I printed a quote from Swoozie Kurtz- "A Wonderful drama teacher lit the fire for me."
I printed out all these quotes about acting and the theatre and pasted them all over the inside. They are sooooo neat.
Ammo better get the lead next year.

Just kidding.

A large supporting role will do.
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