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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (14682)5/21/2000 12:41:00 PM
From: Barney  Read Replies (2) of 62549
 
BENEFITS OF GROWING OLDER

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You can live without sex but not without glasses.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You send money to PBS.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

People send you this list ...
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