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Pastimes : ASK Vendit Off Topic Questions
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To: avanti77 who wrote (12651)5/26/2000 12:23:00 PM
From: Guardian  Read Replies (2) of 19374
 
REUTERS ALERT: Minnie Mouse crushed to death by falling cat as she exited Goldman-Sachs. The cat, witnesses attested, was the famous Garfield.

Representatives of the brokerage house say Garfield was depressed after receiving a large margin call on QCOM, shares of which had plunged nearly 30 points in the past week's trading.

Adding to the grizzly street scene was a hot tray of lasagna which passers-by mistook for blood soaked cat entrails. Apparently, Garfield had devoured half of the tray before jumping, saying he would take the rest to his grave for a spiritual snack.

CEO Michael Eisner could not be reached for comment but Disney's CFO said their quarterly earnings would not be impacted adversely as the mouse-replacement talent pool at Disney far outnumbered the cat population at large.

Mickey Mouse, in a separate statement to the street.com said the comment was heartless, then added that he and Minnie maintained separate portfolios and, unlike the fat cats of Wall street like Garfield, they had invested in value stocks including companies which sell frozen lasagna. He then added that his stock prices should be helped by the windfall of publicity surrounding the incident as the spiritual food market was largely untapped.
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