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Pastimes : All Clowns Must Be Destroyed
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To: pater tenebrarum who wrote (37091)6/1/2000 6:46:00 PM
From: patron_anejo_por_favor  Read Replies (2) of 42523
 
Hilarious! Recommended CNBS schedule (from the Rap):

CNBC: Could Not Be Cuter. . . The last one is a post that was forwarded to me by a reader. I thought it
was pretty hilarious:

Proposed Viewing Schedule for CNBC

5 a.m.-7 a.m.: Maria Bartiromo's "Guess Yesterday's Stock Prices" Game Show

Contestants include noted analysts and economists. Prices are dot-com and biotech shares selling over $10.

Note: All shares are donated to CNBC in return for a mention of their name during the show.

7 a.m.-10 a.m.: Squawk Box Show with current personalities

7-9: Joe and David list earnings reports for viewers. No comments are made unless the profits have declined from year-ago levels.

9-9:30: Guest host lists stocks he/she hopes to sell to unsuspecting viewers later that day.

9:30-10: Mark interviews his dog.

10 a.m.-11 a.m.: Liz Claman Hour

Liz parades back and forth on the stage to background music wearing a yellow bikini. She is not permitted to say anything.

11 a.m.-Noon Consuelo interviews CEOs of Fortune 500 companies.

Note: This is the award-winning segment of the viewing day.

Noon-1 p.m. Reruns of segments of Maria Bartiromo's morning Game Show. The program includes 10 minutes of GE commercials.

This time slot allows viewers an ideal time to go to lunch

1 p.m.-2 p.m.: Liz Claman Hour (red bikini)

2 p.m.-4 p.m. Listing yesterday's stock prices (A to Z) with Ted David.

Note: This unique program has been cut from 3 hours to 2 hours for some undetermined reason. Also, it was reported by the Enquirer last week that Ted David has threatened CNBC with a walkout unless he is allowed more time under the sun lamp during working hours -- although this hasn't been confirmed.

4 p.m.-5 p.m.: CNBC Fun Show with Sue Herera

Regular guests such as Joe Batapaglia and Lawrence Kudlow challenge Mrs.Jerome's 6th grade class regarding knowledge about economics and stock selection. To date, Mrs. Jerome's class is leading in points 1,354 to 7.

5 p.m.-6 p.m.: Liz Claman Hour (blue bikini)

6 p.m.-7 p.m.: "The Day In Review" with Bob Pisani

Bob lists all the stocks that should have been purchased the day before, now selling at much higher prices. Viewers are advised to listen carefully because the stocks are NOT listed in alphabetical order.
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