My favorite Jewish joke:
Herman and Isaac are walking down the street. They are both in dire straits financially, and sharing their woes. Herman says, "If only I had a thousand dollars, I could get my poor wife a new pair of glasses, I could pay the last two payments on the truck and not go out of business, I could fix the roof...."
The two men are passing a large, imposing church. Isaac says, "Herman, you know what I heard? It's strange, but I heard that there is so much competition for membership among the protestant denominations in this fancy neighborhood that this church here is offering a pretty large financial incentive-- a sign up bonus -- to new members."
Herman says, "Well, are you going to do it, Isaac? You need the money as much as I do."
Isaac says, "No, of course not! Never! I was born a Jew, I'll die a Jew, I would starve before I would so such a thing."
Herman says, "Well, I'm going in. I'm in serious trouble, and it can't hurt to find out about it. You sit here and wait for me."
Isaac waits on the bench at the bus stop. He's there a long time.
Finally, Herman comes out and joins Isaac.
Isaac asks, "Herman! What happened? You were in there for hours! Did you join that church?"
Herman answers, "Yes, Isaac. I am now an Episcopalian, and a member of the congregation here."
Isaac says, "So it was true about the bonus! How much did they give you?"
Herman says, "You Jews! -- All you think about is money!" |
