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Pastimes : Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed
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To: accountclosed who wrote (3576)7/13/2000 2:41:59 PM
From: re3  Read Replies (1) of 436258
 
The Benefits of Growing Older
You can eat dinner at 4:00
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them
either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the
room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
Your arms are too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. (NEVER)
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
People who call at 9 p.m. ask, "Did I wake you?"
You send money to PBS.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch
television.
Your ears are more hairy than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You bought cable for the weather channel.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
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