TO: Rambi
We is please thankyou announcing the great and magnificly PARATOUR (under newly managing last years two of them of worthy manly mans of Paratour Guillermo F. Gonzales Quiros Juan Hourquescos Saldiver) invite the cutiebuns quickdraw Rambi and even fat ugly screechowl Westrooks womans also yes she want, not pay nothing compliment of generously Guillermo big admires the famed skimpythong goldilocks Rambi even we sends special charter plane of Paraguay Airline to pick up and free drinks whole way:
THE GRANTS OPINIONS OF
PARATOUR COMBINATION JUNGLE WAREFARES TRAINING COURSES AND LUXURIES LADYSPA!! YES!!!
Proudly first its kindliness the world wholly, we please thankyou to past present program accomodations BOTH the needs the secretly dead arts swamp jungle living killing AND womens lusty for the pampers by skillest and mostly attentioned spa people persons learned the technicals many the hoitiest toitiest spa places Scottsdale Palm Springs you name it.
Here we relations somethings of you gets doing in midiculous puts together programs. Here there just two days gives gets the idea whole shebang be week seven days of funliness!!
DAY THE ONE
Mornings: Special showers takes off dead skins, then jump and splash in big hot bucket, dump head then water colds we puts all flowers smell in it. Finals message the deep tissue paper while other lady do pedicab.
Noon after: Naps take in hammock way high in tree no black flies. Course the jungly medicals: How treaties the stinging scorpion, retrieving very small spine fishies burrow in orifice, cure skin rots six kinds, and of corpse always ever the pesky gangrenes (hahaha, not to worries squeamly womens, amputation be fakes we uses crash dummy!)
Nights: Swamp cuisines we takes the careful greately makes everythings smack the lips just like homemaking. Learns how catch with nets and roasts the gigantic bird-eating spider live in trees taste like frog leg, slug paste we shows you make tasty like yuppie brie cheese on plantain chip!! Yum!! Then campfires and singalongs and yodels with special talented locals, roasts the fat termites with syrups and get drunks the real Paraguayan manly grogs.
DAY THE TWO
Mornings: Punji stick trapping, proper kill technicals use blood groove on big knifes, Paraguayan garrotte you does so quiet from branches over head. Then identifies and tracks tricks the animal like peccary, sloth, jaguar and fierce giant Chaca chicken from turd learn each one they looks smells.
Noon after: Peels off drys up facial skins with secret mysterious enzyme, tie up naked bodies in wet native stinkweeds takes all fats off butt. Finals float hour maybe in mudhole breathe natural swamp gas therapeutic odors. So soothes!!
Nights: Special treats, we stimulates the really huntings ferocious Chaca chicken, lets one goes from cage and chase hour through swamps in fast boats you learns you special ways lasso lucky you even learns famous chicken riding only brave man of Paratour know to do how. Then decapitates and watch amazing sights three hundred pound Chaca chicken run twitch no heads for half hours the least!! Fun has to be by all for one!! That after we has biggest chicken barbecue you sees the planets you bets!! Follow this, bravely men of Paratours make theirself free availables the ladies for nightfuns any they likes.
You not miss for nothings, it time once the life!! RVSP by tomorrow to:
Sr. Guillermo F. Gonzales Quiros Juan Hourquescos Saldiver
El Presidente Supremo
Paratour
[Notes: these Paratour no relations all whatsoever at the nother Paratour it runs Juan F. Gonzales Quiros Guillermo Hourquescos Saldiver R.I.P. in leech pit]
Message 3629681 |
