Bubbles Always Pop, pg. 4.
1993
With the winter of '92 behind him, Ed moved his stuff out of the pump house and back to the school bus. Prior to moving the bus, Ed had a local guy, Abe, come out with a backhoe and level the place where Ed managed to park the bus. When I first visited Ed at his school bus home in the fall '92, he still had the bus sitting on its wheels. He hadn't had much time to start landscaping or making improvements to make his life more comfortable. Mostly, all he had accomplished was getting the bus placed where he wanted it to be permanently. I suspect Ed figured once he had his house built he would use the bus for storage.
Ed went back to work for the '93 season. I would periodically go visit with him at the motel on weekend nights knowing I didn't have to go to work the next day and could stay up late. I'd take a chess board over, and we would play a game, or simply sit chatting while watching Saturday Night Live on tv in a small room directly behind the front desk. One of the things I truly enjoyed most about Ed was our conversations. It seemed as though whenever we spoke, the conversation was never one sided. Each one started with something simple, a chance question, community related events, or an observation, and evolved into lengthy, spontaneous discussions.
Sometimes, Ed would make it over for the weekly get-together which we were still having in our home. By this time I had met another fellow, and so this brought the group to four. SJ had heard about a used pool table for sale from a co-worker, and decided she just had to have it. Once she got the pool table, chess pretty much went by the wayside. We would play doubles when Ed would make it over, or cut-throat when he didn't.
1994
Slowly, Ed's visits became less frequent. He had other activities now that he had the bus, and he had a lot more friends than I was initially aware of. Ed joined us for the 4th of July festivities at the local lake the first year we went in '93 and also the second year in '94. He had Thanksgiving dinner with us in both '92 and '93. Ed was one of the most polite people I ever recall having met. And he was especially a joy to have around because he could interact with both SJ and I without friction between she and I.
As I got to know Ed, and he became more and more comfortable with being around us, he confided to me, while playing some board game (we would also play Scrabble and every once in a great while, Rummikub), He had considered taking his own life one winter night while still residing at Jesse Haven. I was somewhat stunned by his statement and I didn't know exactly how to respond. Ed sat quietly, opposite me, staring down towards the board as if studying it prior to making his next play when he made the revelation. I didn't interrupt, but simply let him talk. Apparently, he had made some sort of timetable for his plan because he said he had cleaned and straightened up his home first and then gotten all of the things he wanted to be found and laid them out in an orderly fashion.
I guess it goes without saying the game we were engaged in was pretty much down-graded to an afterthought. I listened as he talked about his troubles, and tried to interject my thoughts where I felt it was appropriate. Since his telling came after he had obviously decided against it, I didn't give what he was revealing to me much after-thought. I, too, had had some low points at various times in my own life, but had managed to pull myself up out of my gloom and find a reason to go on. I figured it was just one of those times when he was feeling down and needed to talk to a friend. |
