You commented recently that we invaded Edwarda's privacy, on the Pray for Edwarda thread. I think you mean, the public gathering of information to send to her doctors. I don't know if you knew that SI(Bob) and I sent PMs back and forth about it, and he thought I was doing the right thing, and he monitored the posts and zapped the ones he thought went too far. I know it made people uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable, too.
I wanted to say something else, though.
Politeness kills people. Don't be polite, don't assume doctors know what they are doing, don't assume they know what you know.
I learned it the hard way. I think that's why my first son died. When I went into premature labor, I assumed that the doctor would remember me and realize I was in premature labor and come rushing down to the hospital to save us. And when he didn't come, I asked the nurses if he knew I was in premature labor, and they said, oh, they were sure he did. Well, he didn't. By the time he got there, it was too late to give me the drugs that would have stopped labor. And I asked them for another doctor when mine didn't show up, and they wouldn't give one to me. I should have stood up and walked out, but I was passive, and trusted them.
I am working on a case right now where a 12 year old boy died, partly because the parents were too polite the doctors told them that they would NOT consult with NIH or CDC, they could handle his condition. The doctors could NOT handle it, and the parents did NOT scream with rage and threaten lawsuits or mahem. They were passive.
Of course we invaded her privacy. When you go to the gynecologist, and he puts a speculum up you, he invades your privacy, but if you don't let him, you could have cancer and never know it.
JLA asked me to send him a copy of the letter after she died, because the medical examiner wanted to see it, and later JLA told me that the ME it helpful. I only wish that we had done it sooner.
If I am ever in a coma, dying of an unknown cause, I hope that the people who know me are not polite.
I don't want to start an argument, but you posted publicly here so I am responding publicly here. There's no need to respond, I just wanted to have my say. |
