Neo, I liked this article. Especially the walking through mud analogy.
THE REMARKABLY BRAINY...
SADLY UN-ZANY DICK CHENEY
By: Shelley McKinney
etherzone.com
I privately predicted to myself -- and yes, I realize that there's no way of proving that now -- that there would be squawking on either side of the political fence, no matter who George W. Bush Jr. picked for his running mate. Boy, was I ever right -- even though I admit that this was not a wild call. If I get to the point where I'm able to unfailingly predict Kentucky Derby or Super Bowl winners, I'll let you all know. What has surprised me in the three days that have passed since Dick Cheney's name was announced as Mr. Bush's choice candidate for vice president is the consensus among both liberals and conservatives, all of whom concur on two words to describe him: "safe" and "boring."
Both friend and foe are in agreement: Dick Cheney is blah. I had never really thought to see the likes of New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd (never one to take the high
road when there's a personal insult to be flung) and Rich Lowry, the editor of the National Review experiencing synchronicity. "A prosperous, well-fed, balding, bland male Republican," sneers the catty Ms. Dowd, whose morning saucer of milk is curdled more often than not. The more circumspect Mr. Lowry more politely refers to Dick Cheney as "dull, and an uninspired campaigner....a very old 59 years."
ABCNews.com published a warm account of Mr. Cheney's life on July 24 that affirmed him as a decent, intelligent, and well-respected person in both government and the private sector. After spending two afternoons up to my neck in the writings of columnists who all demur Mr. Bush's choice, this article was a pleasant read, and confirmed to me that he knew what he was doing when he picked Richard Cheney to run with him as vice president in the coming election.
"Loyal," "good-natured," "smart," "hard-working" are all adjectives that have been chosen by various writers to describe the goods on Mr. Cheney, kind of in the same way a person would describe a favorite hunting dog. "Well respected by the press" is another one that doesn't seem particularly doggish, but it certainly isn't a negative quality. A July 24 CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll related that most Americans are familiar with Dick Cheney, and none of us think he is "exciting."
Exciting? I don't know about the rest of you, but I've had about as much "excitement" in the last 7+ years as I can stand. It's been a veritable thrill-a-palooza and I am ready to step off the madly careening carousel of the Clinton presidency and gulp down my last dose of anti-nausea meds. Just think: an administration that can work toward repairing the dignity of the office that Clinton and his minions have done their level best to drag down. Parents used to be able to use the President of the United States as an example to inspire their children to great things: after all we've had to suffer through, I'd rather have one of my kids aspire to being counter help in the local Dairy Queen. The pay's not great, but it's honest work.
There's just something about the endless scandal -- the what-seems-like-daily introduction of a new "-gate" -- that has grown wearisome, like walking through a muddy field in a pair of boots. The longer you walk, the heavier your feet grow until you start to think it might be easier and less exhausting to just get down on all fours and join all the lower-order creatures like ferrets and weasels, who navigate the easiest with their bellies on the ground.
So I'm unmoved by the poll's summation of Mr. Cheney as an uninteresting candidate for office, and I'd like to take CNN to task anyway for presenting their results in such a light, because what I read doesn't seem to support that premise. Mr. Cheney's favorable rating is 51% and the unfavorable rating is a scant 11%. As choice of running mate, Mr. Cheney rated 45% in the "pretty good" category and 10% in the "excellent" category -- a solid, satisfied 55%, as compared to only 8% who view him as a poor choice. Fifty-seven percent of those polled felt that he would be qualified to serve as president if necessary. This doesn't seem like a lack of interest to me -- it seems relieved.
What this means is that people see both Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney as people who are unlikely to be grabby with FBI files; fire long-term, multi-administration White House employees in order to stock the place with their own cronies; use the Lincoln Bedroom as a hot-sheet motel; play hide-the-salami with the interns; be subpoenaed; be big fat unrepentant liars under oath; suborn perjury; be indicted; and have no recollection of how all that lovely, tainted money found its way into their campaign coffers, as well as not offering the startled American public a "twofer" deal that is accompanied by absolutely no accountability. Give us a Cheney Special: a butter-on-white-bread sandwich with a side of vanilla ice cream, please!
Dick Cheney might be a safe choice for a vice-presidential candidate, but safe isn't bad when accompanied by a stalwart character, which is what all of those aforementioned adjectives point to. It's unlikely that we'll see him dressed up like a twit in blue jeans and cowboy boots along with wife Lynne, attempting to boot-scoot with all the admiring serfs in a half-hearted attempt to be "just like one of y'all." If Dick Cheney's more comfortable in a dignified dark blue suit, that's fine with me. And from all I've read, it's extremely unlikely that we'll find Mr. Cheney with the trousers of that suit worn at half-mast, either.
So today, in honor of the un-zany Mr. Cheney, I'm going to set aloft three helium balloons -- two for each administration he has honorably served, one for the administration he will serve -- in my backyard this afternoon, all in conservative colors. My desktop clock informs me that it is 104 days until election day, and I'm starting to get that one-nation-under-God feeling again. Thank goodness.
Please feel free to continue boring me. |
