I can see it now ....
The year is 2050. SI has managed to survive, and even thrive, as its early adherents continue to calcify. With average American lifespans nearing 90, the average age of SI users now exceeds 65.
In addition to the long-popular Coffee Shop threads, there is an entire new section called "Health Talk", where members post hourly updates of their aches, pains, and medical conditions. Unlike the early days, when tech and Internet stocks were all the rage, there is an undue focus on health care and pharmaceutical issues. Most members shun the biotech sector because, as one member puts it, "I don't really understand what these youngsters are up to anyways ....."
One poster in particular is a microcosm of what SI 2050 has now become. Jorj X. McKie, known for his lunatic rantings in the early days (now referred to as the SI Classic period), has become less and less rational as time goes on. He thinks the wave of the future is BioDermatic, a company whose sole product is an anti-aging cream favored by Mrs. McKie, who recently turned 85 but looks not a day older than Barbara Bush did back in the SI Classic period.
McKie's son, Jackson, recently named CEO of Cisco Sun Oracle systems, a company resulting from several mergers and sporting a market cap of $25 trillion, is also rumored to post occasionally under the pseudonym Action Jackson.
Another old-time member, Agustus Gloop, only posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Mondays, Gloop can't even remember where he is. On Wednesdays he goes to the hospital for his weekly angioplasty. And on Fridays, Gloop spends most of the day cleaning up after Mrs. Gloop. Gloop's son, Agustus Gloop Jr., now 52 years old, is a night janitor at a women's dormitory at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. It is the only job he ever aspired to. He is not an SI member.
As for Gizmo, his passing is still mourned by SI regulars. Two years back, at the ripe young age of 88, his wife killed him in a jealous rage after discovering him at home with a bunch of young ladies of ill repute (it was spring break at UT). The court case about distribution of his $500 million dollar estate rages on....... |
