A day in the life of a short.
10:00 am--You are sitting at your computer, icy cold without the slightest emotion eyeing your target. It has jumped 10 points on the day for no reason you can see. The stock is at 40 and seems to be stalling. You hit it with a short, you dispassionately keep some margin available just in case it goes higher so you can hit it again. You put on the Doors "Riders on the Storm" on the Stereo.
10:15 am--The stock has moved higher, up 5 more points, You decide to wait a bit, if it goes much higher you will short some more. The Rolling Stones "When the Whip Comes Down" plays on the stereo.
10:25 am--It is at 50 and stalled. You nail it with another block of shares. A worm of nervousness begins to squirm in your belly.
10:30 am--It is up another 5 points, the worm has grown to the size of a python.
10:40 am--The stock is at 65, you are trying to get still long enough to get on your knees and pray. You give up on the idea after you remember it didn't work last time and you can't quit pacing. Instead you wonder if maybe a blood sacrifice would work. You seriously consider sticking yourself with a pin and dripping the blood on your monitor. Maybe that will cause the market gods to stop leeching blood from your account.
11:00 am--The stock is at 75 where it has hung for 10 minutes. You are remembering your own market rules and decide to give it one last short to nail it good and raise your overall short level. You put the Stones "Better Walk Before They Make me Run" on the stereo.
11:05 am--Upon notice that your short was filled, the stock jumps to 80. You are tearing up your medicine cabinet for tranquilizers, you are out. In a frenzy you begin wishing you had a cigarette, you have never smoked but you have been told it is calming. Besides one is always offered to the condemned. You have Robert Johnson's "Hellhound on my Trail" on the stereo.
11:10 am--The stock is at 85, you dash to the Yahoo message boards to see if you can find out if they have any reason for this jump. There you find 257 posts gleefully exclaiming "The shorts are getting squeezed today!!" You finally see a post at 9:50 am announcing that the poster has positive proof the company is being bought by Cisco for a price of 150. Still no official news announced at all. You feel like you have swallowed a huge spiked icy ball. You have Simon and Garfunkels "Somewhere They Can't Find Me" on the Stereo.
11:50 am--The stock is at 90, you decide you have to get a cigarette and dash next door to borrow one from your neighbor. He is trying to quit but he does have some smokeless stuff called Copenhagen. You grab a wad of it and stuff it in your mouth. It tastes like a cat box but you barely notice as the stock has jumped 5 more points to 95.
12:00 noon---The stock is at 100, you feel nauseated, not sure if it is the market or the Copenhagen. You figure out it is the Copenhagen and dash for the bathroom, almost making it to the toilet. You now have an empty stomach but it doesn't matter, breakfast wasn't sitting that well anyway.
12:10 pm--News comes out, the company CEO states "I don't know why our share price is going up like this." When asked directly about the takeover rumor he says: "It isn't our policy to discuss such things." The stock jumps 10 more points, you begin to consider the blood sacrifice idea again. Only this time you intend to remove it from both wrists and you don't care where it lands.
12:25 pm--With the stock at 125 you decide to cover part of your position. As soon as you do, the stock drops 15 points. You have covered at peak. You look for your dog, in the past you have gotten some really satisfying kicks in when the market did this but he already has his lips pulled back showing his teeth. With the perverse instincts of his species he has developed a skill for assessing time. If you get near him when the market is open he always bites the Hell out of you.
12:45 pm--The stock rolls back to 85 and then the company sends out another news release saying they don't know how these rumors got started and gosh they have only been talking to Cisco for three days.
12:50 pm--With the stock roaring up to 100 you cover the rest of your short. You are ripping your house apart for alcohol. Finally you remember you didn't buy any this week because you chugged a full fifth of Jim Beam with worse effects than the Copenhagen when a short jumped 15 points on you. You put on "Amazing Grace" on the stereo.
1:00 pm--Cisco announces with the stock at 100 that they have no intention of buying the company and are only talking with them about selling them some equipment. The stock tanks. You boot the dog, both the kick and the bite you get feel very satisfying. You put Mozart's "Requeim" on the Stereo.
4:15 pm--With the stock at 25 now you decide to see how much you have left in your account. You discover there that you didn't cover all of your short. With the stock now hung at 25 you figure out you can cover and break even on the day. You do, howling "Even! Damn it! Even!!" You pet the dog to show him no hard feelings.
4:30 pm--While bandaging the second dog bite, you check the stock price, it dipped 15 points right after you covered.
8:00 pm--You ream a poster on Yahoo for trading using emotion instead of his brains.
9:00 pm--You have got a new target. You are already deciding how hard to hit it in the morning. You have Bob Seger's "Like a Rock" on the Stereo. |
