*** Let's Get Technical
In 2031, President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches
the Pearly Gates of Heaven...
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter. "It's me, Bill Clinton,
formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free
World."
"Oh...Mr....... President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.
"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure," says the Saint. "But first, you have to confess your sins.
What bad things have you done in your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you
can't call it 'dope-smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were
inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it
'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations.' And I made
some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you
can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it
didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."
With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares,
"OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call
it 'Hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it
'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have to abandon all hope,
just hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over." |
