A man of few words.........
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
>I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
>her.
>
>Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
>
>The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,"
>Dust!"
>
>In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man
>and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has
>rested.
>
>Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
>
>What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
>
>A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
>said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and
>said,"God,I wish I had your will power."
>
>Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
>
>Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
>doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every
>country, son.
>
>A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he
>received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
>mine."
>
>The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
>it once.
>
>First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky,
>mine's still alive."
>
>How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done
>for free.
>
>Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
>they had no faults at all.
>
>If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every
>word you say, talk in your sleep.
>
>Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
>until I got married; and then it was too late."
>
>A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
>married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"
>
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