Throwing The Baby Out With the Bathwater....
>>Sorry, Frederick,
What is crazy is much of what you are writing in this post. The opposite of " defining children, labelling them, grading them, judging them, controlling them, restricting them", is not the total abrogation of parental responsibility you seem to claim for your ideal parenting style. If you are really raising your own children with no teaching, no guidance, no discipline, if you are following their lead, and not they yours, then you are not just parenting irresponsibly, you're not even parenting.>>
It's natural to respond this way. Whenever we come across something that doesn't "fit" our understanding the easiest thing to do is invert and conclude the negative.
Teaching, guidance discipline and empathy are best taught not from control, but by example.
It's so seductively attractive for a parent to feel power over a child, declare a judgment and say "NO!!!". This is just the nature of wrestling with our own feelings of irritation, frustration and perhaps even helplessness.
We should first learn try to climb their trees, see from there eyes and feel what they feel first before doing anything.
My wife and I make a wonderful team. Don't worry about "me" and our kids. I'm just at the other end of the spectrum. And she appreciates this side of me as it relates to kids, setting examples, etc.
I love kids. I feel like I'm a kid. It's the greatest blast in the world to share, feel and celebrate this energy, etc.
Peace.
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