Here you go, something to ponder!! Best, S.
The 5 questions most feared by men are:
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every
one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if
the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.
QUESTION #1: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry
if I've been quiet, dear. I was just reflecting on
what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring,
intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have
met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the
true answer, which most likely is one of the
following:
1. Baseball.
2. Football.
3. How fat you are.
4. How much prettier she is than you.
5. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
QUESTION #2: DO YOU LOVE ME?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more
detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include:
1. Oh Yeah, shit loads.
2. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
3. That depends on what you mean by love.
4. Does it matter?
5. Who? Me?
QUESTION #3: DO I LOOK FAT?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Among the incorrect answers are:
1. Compared to what?
2. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly
thin.
3. A little extra weight looks good on you.
4. I've seen fatter.
5. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking
about how I would spend the insurance money if you
died.
QUESTION #4: DO YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of
course not!"
Incorrect responses include:
1. Yes, but you have a better personality
2. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
3. Not as pretty as you were when you were her age
4. Define pretty
5. Could you repeat the question? I was just
thinking about how I would spend the insurance money
if you died.
QUESTION #5: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I DIED?
A definite no-win question. The real answer, of
course,
is "Buy a Corvette and a boat". No matter how you
answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of
follow-up questions, usually along these lines:
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not? Don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace
them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: Shit! |
