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Pastimes : ISOMAN AND HIS CAVE OF SOLITUDE
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To: ISOMAN who started this subject8/23/2000 12:10:02 PM
From: ISOMAN  Read Replies (3) of 539
 
DUMB PACKAGING LABELS

In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.

1. On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(Evidently, the shoplifter special)

3. On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how. . . ?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of
box):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Oops, too late!)

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day . . . .)

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts."
(NEWS FLASH)

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

14. On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this
one.)

15. On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?... Good
grief)

16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:
"Do not use on food."
(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's OK honey just grab
the Palmolive!)

17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste:
"If swallowed contact poison control."
(Oh please have you ever heard about someone dying
from swallowing a little toothpaste?)

18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent:
"Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine."
(Hey no more swimming in the washing machine kids)


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