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Non-Tech : The Critical Investing Workshop

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To: Jim Willie CB who wrote (31220)8/30/2000 9:38:04 PM
From: crdesign  Read Replies (2) of 35685
 
Ready for some one-liners?

Q. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 US leader

Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat IT - we're closed.

Q. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A. To find a tight seal.

Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q. Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A. She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What's another name for pickled bread?
A. Dill-dough.

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.

Q. What's the difference between light and hard?
A. You can sleep with a light on.

Q. Why is sex like a bridge game?
A. You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A. Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What is the difference between Olympic swimmers and Olympic divers?
A. Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows.

Q. What is the new O. J. web site address?
A. Slash.slash.backslash.escape

Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather ... kinky is using the whole chicken.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. Men will screw anything.

Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....and the other is used to carry groceries.

Q. What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the Post Office?
A. They're hiring.

Q. What has four legs and an arm?
A. A happy pit-bull

Don't ask me where they came from,
I'm just the messenger ;)

Timster
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