TLC....you have touched on a subject that means a lot to me.
I want to thank each and everyone of you who took the time to post your experiences, opinions, and all of the very informative articles related to the use of Ritalin on children. I have spent the last 3 hours printing out the posts to send to people that are faced with this dilemma.
I am sure that it is easier for a doctor, psychiatrist etc. to just tell the parent that the child needs the medication, rather than tell the parent that when their children came into their home, their parenting skills were very important to the development of that child. The time and efforts it takes to get a child on a schedule, eating habits, what should be acceptable behavior for a child, discipline, getting good sleep patterns, etc., etc., etc.
Would a parent like to hear that from a doctor? No. Would that parent go back to the doctor again? Most likely no. They would find a doctor that would not make them appear to be a part of the blame for a child not learning at a young age to be responsible for their actions, how to fit in with others, and how a child was not allowed to be a child, diet. It would not also be good for the docs finances. The pill is the easy way out for everyone concerned, but the child.
It would take too much time and disrupt the household, if the parent were to have to start changing behavioral patterns and diet that started right from the childs' birth. That would be too inconvenient really and might even interfere with a financial career for many.
I had a nursery school for many years while my children were babies, drove a school bus, and my exposure to children was great. Having little sisters that were 15 and 16 years younger than me, and having parents from the old school, taught me many things that many young mothers of today did not have the opportunity to experience. Girls in my days were brought up that their home, their husband, their children, and their families were their career. Some women would love to have it that way, but society asks...what do you do for a living woman? Being a homemaker is not recognized as a wonderful career by society. Just the way it was and not questioned or regretted by many of my friends that I still see today and we go back to the 1950s. Today, things are very, very different.
My son was placed on Ritalin as well as steroids for a very serious asthma condition. I could tell you stories of what I went thru with my hyper active son that would make your heads shake. I hated drugs and knew I had to investigate it thoroughly. With the wonderful help of Childrens Memorial Hospital in Chicago, I switched doctors, and in 6 months he was off both drugs that could harm him for life. It was not easy for me to deal with at all as he had to be watched. Yes, he had all the signs of ADD but it was actually the things that were happening around us, my parenting skills and his diet. His days has to be planned to keep him from being bored. He needed very little sleep. He was wired up. Antsy pants as we called it then. etc etc <G> Well, I got through it all, as a separated single working mom in the early 60s,(since he was 11 mos old) and it was not easy(his sister was 2 mos old.) He was a full time career for me. (well both of my children were). Not career as most people of today know it, but I call it my career that I would do all over again as I knew I would only have one chance at it. A financial career I could always get in the future....this was the most important job at hand at the moment.
Unfortunately, a baby is not born with a manual, like a computer, or car. It is with trial and error that babies are raised by many young adults. Some of these young adults are not interested in the wisdom of the elders who raised their children and unfortunately, the drive for financial success, successful careers, to have status items is running wild. Identity is in ownership of material things and thus, their children become a part of that identity as well.
Basic parenting skills should be taught in ALL schools and should be a subject that should be required.
Well, I have rambled on more than I probably should have, but at 61 yrs of age, I look back and can see many changes things.
Our children come into our lives and while we have them for really such a short time, we will not be able to go over and do it right again. The things that we teach them, morals, ethics, responsibility, virtues, caring for others, social responsibilities, have to be instilled by us being their roll model and learning as much as we can, from books and others. Once a good foundation is made(like on a house), if things get out of line, at least the foundation is there. They can draw on that and rebuild, if they have had good examples.
Nuff for now and this is JMVHO and do hope that no one takes it personal as this is just how I see things and have seen how the children that I cared for in the 50s,and 60s have turned out now in the year 2000.
Parents should just be a parent, use tough love, be strict, take control of your household and finances and let the grandparents spoil the kids, spend their money on them, etc. etc etc and send them back to you. <<gg>>
Thank you TLC and everyone and I am quite excited to mail off all the posts that I printed to friends etc. who will hopefully accept that my concern comes from my heart and my fondness and love for them and their children.
Our children are our future. Lets not mess up something so wonderful that many of us were blessed enough to have been gifted with.
Patricia <S>
I cannot believe I got so involved with this as I am leaving for Boca at 7am tomorrow morning and have things to do. This thread was too good to let go tho. <S> Remember, please, do not take personal offense to my opinions as this is just the way I see things and feel. Thank you. |
