I just couldn't resist posting this....some of them will brighten your day!
Subject: classified ads
> FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
> > > 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
> > > ----------------------------------
> > > FREE PUPPIES:
> > > 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
> > > 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
> > > ------------------------------
> > > FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD
> > > - PART STUPID DOG
> > > ------------------------------
> > > GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
> > > NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
> > > -------------------------------------
> > > FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
> > > LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
> > > BEEN OUT AWHILE..
> > > BETTER BE REWARD.
> > > -----------------------------------
> > > 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
> > > ----------------------------
> > > AMANA WASHER $100.
> > > OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO
> > > SELDOM WASHED.
> > > ------------------------------
> > > SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
> > > ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
> > > -------------------------------
> > > 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
> > > 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
> > > ------------------------------
> > > TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX,
> > > COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988
> > > MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO,
> > > EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
> > > ------------------------------
> > > COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
> > > ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
> > > -----------------------------------
> > > FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
> > > 20 YR. WARRANTY.
> > > LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
> > > -----------------------------------
> > > FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS
> > > WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
> > > ----------------------------------
> > > FOR SALE:
> > > LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN)
> > > $50
> > > -----------------------------------
> > > NORDIC TRACK $300
> > > HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBIE
> > > -------------------------------------
> > > BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
> > > "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
> > > --------------------------------------
> > > SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
> > > -------------------------------------
> > > HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
> > > "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
> > > ----------------------------------------
> > > HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES
> > > GUN CLUB
> > > -----------------------------------------
> > > GEORGIA PEACHES
> > > CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
> > > ------------------------------------------
> > > NICE PARACHUTE:
> > > NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
> > > -------------------------------------------
> > > TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY
> > > $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT
> > > SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
> > > STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
> > > ---------------------------------------------
> > > EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
> > > QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS
> > > $175.
> > > ---------------------------------------------
> > > OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
> > > AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
> > > -----------------------------------------------
> > > JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
> > > MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER
> > > $300.
> > > ----------------------------------------------
> > > LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
> > > ---------------------------------------------
> > > ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
> > > FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
> > > ------------------------------------------
> > > OPEN HOUSE
> > > BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
> > > FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
> > > ---------------------------------------
> > > FOR SALE BY OWNER
> > > Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
> > > 45 volumes.
> > > Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No
> > > longer needed. Got married last weekend.
> > > Wife knows everything. |
