Go-To-Hell-You-Bastards Day
by Bob Higgs
"NOW, THEREFORE, I, WILLIAM J. CLINTON, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim Monday, October 2, 2000, as Child Health Day. I call upon families, schools, communities, and governments to dedicate themselves to promoting and protecting the health and well-being of all our children."
All hail mighty Clinton, savior of the young, protector of the vulnerable, enactor of every far-sighted and socially beneficial law. Surely, without a mighty Clinton to watch over us, we would all be most wretched, decrepit, and disgusting. Before mighty Clinton, we most graciously bow and scrape.
Well, not really.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, ROBERT L. HIGGS, Baron of My Own Bastion, do hereby proclaim Monday, October 2, 2000, as Go-To-Hell-You-Bastards Day. I call upon all decent, self-respecting persons of all creeds, colors, and preferences as to creamy or chunky peanut butter to dedicate themselves to repudiating, reviling, and mocking the pretensions of our loathsome leaders, foremost among them, Bill Clinton and Queen Hillary ("The Viper beneath the Throne").
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