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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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To: Ian@SI who wrote (16416)10/11/2000 6:48:42 PM
From: Original Mad Dog  Read Replies (2) of 62554
 
THE AL GORE STORY

Good afternoon. I'm Al Gore, and I'd like to tell you about myself. I
know a lot about hardship, because I came into this world as a poor
black child in a tiny town in the backwoods of Tennessee. I was born in
a log cabin that I built with my own hands. I taught myself to read by
candlelight and helped support my 16 brothers and sisters by working
summers as a deck hand on a Mississippi River steamboat. My mother taught
me
the value of education, so every day, I would walk 5 miles to a one-room
schoolhouse.
I was a mischievous, fun loving scamp, though I never dreamed that one day,
my youthful
escapades would serve as the inspiration for "Huckleberry Finn."
Back then, black folks in the south were second-class citizens. One
day, a traveling minister came through town, and I asked him if anyone
was ever going to do something to guarantee civil rights for all
Americans. Well, I guess I made an impression. You see, the
minister's name was Martin Luther King, Jr.

My father was a United States Senator. He once perched me on his knee
and said, "Son, if you work hard and listen to your mama, someday you can
live in a hotel in Washington, D.C., and go to an exclusive prep school."
But life of privilege was not for me. After getting my high school
diploma, I took a job in a hot, dirty textile mill. I was so appalled
at the treatment of the workers there that I organized a union. Later, that
experience inspired a movie - which is why, to this day, my close
friends at the AFL-CIO call me "Norma Rae."

When word got out what an 18 year old factory worker had done,
Harvard called and offered me a scholarship. I captained the hockey
team to four consecutive national championships, but I also played
football and was good enough to win the Heisman Trophy. During my college
years,
I lived in a housing project and moonlighted playing lead guitar for a
little rock band. You may have heard of it-the Rolling Stones. But there
was a
war going on, and I felt I had to serve my country. So I enlisted in the
U.S. Army and went to Vietnam. I was deeply Opposed to the war, but I did
my
duty as a soldier and came back home with the Medal of Honor and the
Croix de Guerre.

When I got back, I took a long journey across this great land of ours.
I've crossed the deserts bare, man, I've breathed the mountain air, man,
I've
traveled, I've done my share, man, I've been everywhere. And the people
I met at truck stops and campgrounds and homeless shelters on
that journey all said the same thing: "Al, we need you in Washington."
I knew they were right, but first I had to take care of some other
business---building the World Trade Center, founding the Audubon
Society, doing the clinical research that proved smoking caused cancer,
and coming up with the recipe for Mrs. Field's chocolate chip cookies.

Finally, I deferred to the demands of the people of Tennessee and
allowed them to elect me to the House of Representatives and the Senate. And
then one winter day nearly nine years ago, for no particular
reason, I answered the call of the people once again and took the oath
of office as Vice President of the United States. Since then, I've been
part of the most successful administration in American history. Many times
Bill Clinton has been pondering some grave decision and has asked me what to
do. And when I would give him my thoughts, he would invariable say, "Of
course. That's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?" During the darkest
days
of the impeachment battle, the president told me he only wished he had
listened when I told him to stay away form that dark-haired intern. So after
I
decided to run for president, I sat down with him and asked if he had
any suggestions about how to conduct my campaign. And Bill Clinton gave me
a few simple words of advice-words I'll never forget. He looked me in the
eye and he aid,
"Al, just tell the truth, it's always worked for me."
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