while still drug addicted, had a recurring dream
dreams can clarify a confusing situation in need of resolution
the nightmare was climbing a 20-30 story building to the top via staircase (never elevators), crawling onto the roof, roaming around, enjoying the splendor of the panaramic view, then eventually freezing up completely... totally unable to get off roof and return to the ground... remember it still like yesterday, on my back, motionless, frozen stuck trembling
it became a type of paralysis... I repeatedly awoke shaking and sometimes sweating... I dreaded the dream during daytime hours... sometimes church-type Gothic towers... often business rectangular obelisks... I would at times remain stuck with sunlight dwindling, an added terror
what a focal point of addiction: seeking higher highs, nowhere to go next, futility of it all
two alternatives: fall toward certain death, or quit
I QUIT, that was 13 and 1/2 years ago
rehab psychologist helped lead me to understand, process, and move away from clutches of that nasty haunting recurring dream
sincerely, Jim Willie |
