Subject: Humor: Al Gore Tells All
Good afternoon. I'm Al Gore, and I'd like to tell you
about myself. I
know a
lot about hardship, because I came into this world as
a poor black
child in
a tiny town in the backwoods of Tennessee. I was born
in a log cabin
that I
built with my own hands.
I taught myself to read by candlelight and helped
support my 16
brothers and
sisters by working summers as a deck hand on a
Mississippi River
steamboat.
My mother taught me the value of education, so every
day, I would walk
5
miles to a one-room schoolhouse. I was a mischievous,
fun loving scamp,
though I never dreamed that one day, my youthful
escapades would serve
as
the inspiration for "Huckleberry Finn."
Back then, black folks in the south were second-class
citizens. One
day, a
traveling minister came through town, and I asked him
if anyone was
ever
going to do something to guarantee civil rights for
all Americans.
Well, I
guess I made an impression. You see, the minister's
name was Martin
Luther
King, Jr.
My father was a United States Senator. He once perched
me on his knee
and
said, "Son, if you work hard and listen to your mama,
someday you can
live
in a hotel in Washington, D.C., and go to an exclusive
prep school."
But life of privilege was not for me. After getting my
high school
diploma,
I took a job in a hot, dirty textile mill. I was so
appalled at the
treatment of the workers there that I organized a
union. Later, that
experience inspired a movie - which is why, to this
day, my close
friends at
the AFL-CIO call me "Norma Rae."
When word got out what an 18 year old factory worker
had done, Harvard
called and offered me a scholarship. I captained the
hockey team to
four
consecutive national championships, but I also played
football and was
goodenough to win the Heisman Trophy.
During my college years, I lived in a housing project
and moonlighted
playing lead guitar for a little rock band. You may
have heard of it --
the
Rolling Stones.
But there was a war going on, and I felt I had to
serve my country. So
I
enlisted in the U. S. Army and went to Vietnam. I was
deeply opposed to
the
war, but I did my duty as a soldier and came back home
with the Medal
of
Honor and the Croix de Guerre.
When I got back, I took a long journey across this
great land of ours.
I've
crossed the deserts bare, man, I've breathed the
mountain air, man,
I've
traveled, I've done my share, man, I've been
everywhere.
And the people I met at truckstops and campgrounds and
homeless
shelters on
that journey all said the same thing: "Al, we need you
in Washington."
I
knew they were right, but first I had to take care of
some other
business---building the World Trade Center, founding
the Audubon
Society,
doing the clinical research that proved smoking caused
cancer, and
coming up
with the recipe for Mrs. Field's chocolate chip
cookies.
Finally, I deferred to the demands of the people of
Tennessee and
allowed
them to elect me to the House of Representatives and
the Senate. And
then
one winter day nearly nine years ago, for no
particular reason, I
answered
the call of the people once again and took the oath of
office as Vice
President of the United States.
Since then, I've been part of the most successful
administration in
American
history. Many times Bill Clinton has been pondering
some grave decision
and
has asked me what to do. And when I would give him my
thoughts, he
would
invariable say, "Of course. That's brilliant. Why
didn't I think of
that?"
During the darkest days of the impeachment battle, the
president told
me he
only wished he had listened when I told him to stay
away from that
dark-haired intern.
So after I decided to run for president, I sat down
with him and asked
if he
had any suggestions about how to conduct my campaign.
And Bill Clinton
gave
me a few simple words of advice -- words I'll never
forget. He looked
me in
the eye and he said, "Al, just tell the truth, it's
always worked for
me."
=====
***Like a mirror, the Bible tells you the truth
every time. -Max Anders***
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