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Pastimes : MOLEGATE!

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To: KLP who wrote (1238)10/19/2000 3:57:17 PM
From: Cisco  Read Replies (1) of 1719
 
Saved from death's front door, Risky the Tax Scheme Dog was rescued from a Republican run animal shelter during the 1996 presidential campaign. Because the evil Republicans had previously cut funding for stray dogs, and because Risky was considered a minority, he was scheduled for immediate termination. However, during one of many staged photo-ops, Al Gore was quite taken by the furry rascal and his quirky antics. After a quick jump on Al's leg, providing the most love that Al had felt since serving in combat during Vietnam, a bond was formed between the Vice President and the hairy mutt. Al named the dog "Risky" after the dog allegedly participated in an illegal canine fundraiser that collected over three hundred tons of Milk Bone dog biscuits. Risky then became the target of an investigation, referred to by the media as "Fidogate", initiated by the same evil Republicans who tried to kill him in 1996. With the help of Janet Reno, and by pinning the guilt on a bewildered poodle who served on his staff, Risky was able to avoid testimony in the investigation by claiming to not know the definition of the word "woof". To reward Risky for beating the "Red Meat" Republican-led investigation, Al Gore named Risky as Secretary of Kibble and Hydrant Affairs, a new bureaucratic department funded exclusively by the largest tax increase in US history.

Since his early days as a crusader fighting for his peers, Risky has tenaciously fought for Dog Rights. He led the charge for canine affirmative action that enabled, through a system of quotas, dogs of all shapes and sizes to gain employment in areas from which they were previously barred. Even though hundreds of blind Americans suffered serious injuries, and sometimes death, because of ill trained and physically unqualified "seeing eye" Chihuahuas, Risky stuck to his guns following in the footsteps of his owner. Risky's clever staff protected the Democrat pooch by spinning the story the other way. As a consequence, the manipulative liberal media blamed the blind Americans themselves for intolerance and canine racism, resulting in the incarceration of over 5,000 sightless individuals for Hate Crime violations.

Risky and his bitch, Princess, currently reside in the lavish Dog House on 1801 Pennsylvania Avenue with their litter of nine pups. Risky presently serves as the Co-Chairman of Animal Relations for the DNC, Director of Media Relations for Snausages brand dog treats, and has been featured on such shows as Larry King Live, Geraldo, The View, and When Animals Attack 2.


algore-2000.org
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