hey Doc...maybe you can help them.
> Goron's
>
>
> What is a Goron?
> 1. Gorons sincerely believe that Vice President Gore is a true
> environmentalist, when he has an environmental disaster on his own farm:
a
> polluting zinc mine, from which he received $500,000 of income last year.
>
> 2. Gorons likewise believe that the VP is anti-smoking and anti-tobacco
when
> he has operated a tobacco farm for decades and accepted government
> subsidies.
>
> 3. Gorons truly believe that Gore is a Vietnam War hero, when in fact he
was
> placed by family influence in a "cushy correspondent's job and the only
> action he saw was that of his Brownie camera!
>
> 4. Gorons actually believe that Mr. Gore is justified in illegally
raising
> political funds from the Office of the VP, simply because the Vanderbilt
> Law-educated VP claims he was ignorant of the illegality.
>
> 5. Gorons further believe that it was OK for Al to accept large sums of
> political money from China through Buddhist monks who had taken vows of
> poverty, since he again claimed ignorance.
>
> 6. Gorons also believe that the man who claimed to "invent the Internet"
> would be so computationally ignorant that he could lose weeks of
potentially
> incriminating e-mail!
>
> 7. Gorons, incredibly, believe Gore's claim that he and Tipper were the
> models for the book and movie, "Love Story" even though the book's
author,
> Erich Segal, says not.
>
> 8. Gorons, amazingly, believe that Gore will be the consumer's champion
> against high gasoline prices although Gore holds a million dollars in
> Occidental Petroleum stock.
>
> 9. Gorons applaud Mr. Lieberman's open rejection of President Clinton's
> immorality, but believe it was fine for Mr. Gore to remain silent on the
> subject, while simultaneously declaring Mr. Clinton "one of the greatest
> Presidents of our history."
>
> 10. Gorons believe that Al Gore is an effective leader, when they won't
> bother to look at his record as a Tennessee Senator a record so
ineffective
> that it has led to the election of Republicans as BOTH of Tennessee's
> Senators!
>
> 11. Gorons hold the belief that Gore is a compassionate man who will be
the
> working man's friend, in spite of the eviction notice he served to the
poor
> family who complained about the conditions of the run down slum house
that
> he was renting to them.
>
> CAUTIONARY NOTE: Medical researchers acknowledge that Gorons are
generally
> harmless, except when allowed into a voting booth. There, unfortunately,
> overcome by their gullibility syndrome, they are apt to actually vote for
> Gore! They should be carefully protected from their ailment, since it may
be
> harmful to their well-being, yours, mine and that of the USA therefore,
> PLEASE heed the Surgeon General's warning, Reach out to aid the Gorons in
> overcoming the syndrome, and PLEASE, pass this on to your normal friends,
> who might also know Gorons who need immediate treatment. |
