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To: irlon who wrote (16812)11/9/2000 9:34:36 AM
From: Wayners  Read Replies (1) of 30928
 
This is the story as I heard it:

CNN 2100 ET Fort Lauderdale, Florida
While officials in Florida are recounting votes in the cliffhanger ballot last Wednesday, police in Fort Lauderdale arrested a suspect in what appears to be a fraudulent attempt to conceal election votes.

Known only by his nickname GroundZero the suspect who is an amateur investor who makes some additional money on the side by competing in All You Can Eat contests ran up huge losing positions while attempting to pick a bottom in the market decline that started last September.

Facing a personal ruin and desperate for a change in market direction, GroundZero decided to carry out a plan in a voting location situated in a community center where he believed voters would predominately vote for the Democratic candidate.

After walking into the polling station and casually picking up a ballot box, GroundZero ripped off his raincoat revealing the most hideous display of fat rolls ever seen by mankind. Democratic voters screamed in terror and ran for the nearest exits. After all the potential voters had left, running for their lives and hoping for the return of their eyesight, Ground Zero hid in the lavatory locking himself in a cubicle. He hoped to sit out the election and emerge later when the result was announced.

The suspect was discovered by a lavatory attendant while he was scribbling obscene comments about Alan Greenspan, Larry Summers and other prominent Wall Street figures on the walls of the cubicle.
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