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To: willcousa who wrote (116793)11/10/2000 7:37:43 PM
From: Road Walker  Read Replies (1) of 186894
 
I received the following email (not that funny):

The State of Florida has given notice that it is holding the
> Presidency of the United States hostage. Until the rest of the country
> agrees to our terms, there will be no official count and Bill Clinton
> will remain president. Here are our terms:
>
> 1. No more snow birds (nickname for people who come and spend the
> winter in our state) . Stay up north. Just send your money down. We
> have established a secure web site where you can deposit your vacation
> budgets conveniently.
>
> 2. No more referring to the mosquito as the Florida state bird.
>
> 3. New York State will quit trying to annex Miami. It now officially
> belongs to Cuba.
>
> 4. The Federal Securities and Exchange Commission will authorize a
> stockexchange that exists soley for the purpose of trading stocks in
> companieswho manage time share sales.
>
> 5. Out-of-state friends and relatives of Florida residents will
> establish a trust fund for the reimbursement of Floridians every time
> you show up expecting free room and board in our homes. Florida
> residents within a 50 mile radius of Disney World have unlimited draw
> on this trust fund.
>
> 6. All the other 49 states will conduct annual citrus festivals.
> (rather ubiquitous in evey FL city)
>
> 7. The National Football League will declare the Miami Dolphins the
> undisputed winner of the Super Bowl for the next five years.
>
> 8. All future national presidential conventions will be held on the
> track at the Daytona Speedway. The winners will be decided in a 100
> lap race where the candidates drive golf carts.
>
> 9. Bike Week will become Bike Year to overlap with
> Winter-Spring-Summer-Fall Break. Only Harleys will be admitted to the
> former and starlets with Baywatch credentials to the latter.
>
> 10. The Surgeon General will declare orange juice as the national
> natural substitute for aspirin, Rogaine, Prozac, and Viagra.
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