What a surprise: Harris look draws catty comments
by Margery Eagan
Thursday, November 16, 2000
It's possible, I suppose, that when The Presidential Hostage Crisis concludes, Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris - whose image was all over TV and newspapers yesterday and today - will be remembered for her astute political maneuvering.
Most likely, however, she'll be remembered for looking just ghastly Tuesday night. At least by Wednesday her appearance seemed almost - if not quite - transformed.
Like Dr. Richard Sharpe, the transvestite and alleged wife killer. Or Marilyn Manson. Or Dustin Hoffman as Tootsie. Or Cruella DeVil. Or Leona Helmsley on Halloween.
Those were just a few of the comparisons made early yesterday to Harris, who appeared to have piled on 10 tons of mascara, four pounds of lipstick and day-glo blue eye shadow (and what was the deal with the neck?) for her grand moment before every TV camera in the free world.
Much as one would like to blame such nasty lookism on The Evil Patriarchy, I must admit it occurred to me instantly how old and hard she appeared. (Is she really just 43?)
It occurred even to those of us who hope such things are beside the point.
``She looked a little haggard,'' said a kind, compassionate and correct Caryl Rivers, a journalism professor at Boston University.
As for her overcooked style, Rivers said, ``Maybe she's used to showing a few tourist delegations around the state, but all of a sudden it was, `Oh My God, it's the national press. Get my eyelashes!' ''
But the horrified reaction to Harris shouldn't surprise us, Rivers said. Consider: No one made much of Ken Starr's nerdy dumpiness. But when the less-than-comely Linda Tripp got her makeover, she was ridiculed anew for ``a head transplant.''
``Honey, (Harris) could be my mother.'' So said Stephen Mahoney, owner of the Brookline Hair Salon. Age-wise, he is, by the way, Harris' contemporary.
``Almost everybody here today was talking about her. What's she doing wrong? Oh, I mean, eyes too dark. Hair too dark. Lips too red. Whoever gave her advice gave her way too much.
``There's something to be said about simplicity,'' he added. ``And softness goes a long way.''
Not to mention good lighting.
OK, with the nation at the brink of nervous breakdown (or so breathless pundits claim), one hesitates to mention all this, to wallow, basically, in the petty and superficial trappings that aren't supposed to matter anymore.
But if they don't matter anymore, then how come every night when you turn on cable TV for the latest Gore/Bush updates, the average age of the pudgy, balding insightful male pundit is 55 and the average age of the female pundit - every one of them more stunning and stupid than the next - is 28?
About the lone exceptions are Reagan speechwriter and GOP uber-goddess Peggy Noonan, fortysomething, whose days, therefore, may be numbered; and Doris Kearns Goodwin, the Pulitzer-Prize winning presidential historian and sharp commentator, who's still seen mostly on PBS.
No one in this Florida swamp debacle could possibly look worse than former Secretary of State Warren Christopher, a hang-dog version of Yoda, embalmed. Will he even survive the recount?
Hot-shot democratic lawyer David Boies, with his rumpled suits and his ill-kempt hair, resembles Bill Murray in ``What About Bob?''
Katherine Harris, despite the dastardly rumors now being circulated about her (by the Gore campaign, perchance?) has considerable expertise and has made millions in real estate.
Hardly matters. Because there's still a narrow definition of what's acceptable in a woman - acceptable to both men and other women, no matter how we pretend.
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