Am I a BAD American?
I like big cars, big guns, and naturally big tits.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not to some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squeezing out babies.
I don't care about appearing compassionate.
I think playing with guns doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I don't care if you call me a racist, a homophobe or a misogynist.
I am not tolerant of others just because they are different.
The thing I hate most is a bad attitude.
I know that no matter how big Jennifer Lopez's ass gets, I'll still want to see it.
I don't celebrate Swansea.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
MTV is a perfect window into the psyche of what corporate America thinks.
I think getting a hummer is sex, and every man is entitled to at least one extremely sloppy one per month.
I know what the definition lying of is.
I think Oprah's eyes are way too far apart.
I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.
I didn't think the Taco Bell dog was funny.
I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, and they can do it in their schools.
I think the Clippers should play in the WNBA.
My heroes are John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, Norman Schwartzkopf, Colin Powell and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I think creative violence and useless nudity and sex makes Iraqis deader and movies more interesting.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake, but I still think The Rock could kick my butt.
I think global warming is junk science.
I've never owned or was a slave; I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt; I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut the fuck up already.
I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.
I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Play Station. But 2 party blind partisan politics is worse for the future of this great country than a whore monger, lying sack of shit in the white house.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Rev. Jesse Jackson preaches.
I think explosions are cool.
I don't care where Ellen DeGeneres puts her tongue.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I like the convenience of buying oranges while I'm waiting at a stoplight, and I'm pretty sure the Latina midget selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator packing carton outside Ensenada.
I figured out Bruce Willis was dead midway through The Sixth Sense but enjoyed it anyway.
I think turkey bacon sucks.
I want somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out that when I watch a freeway chase, I know the losers the police eventually pull out of the car are gonna be gang-banging homies or vatos.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent.
I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement and not a fad.
I like hard women, hard liquor and a hard bowel movement first thing in the morning.
I believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for your living room.
I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry were Sands of Iwo Jima and Ole Yeller.
I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.
I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.
Making love is fine, but sometimes I just wanna get laid.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. |
