Sheesh, tired of looking at this red, the only red I want to see for the rest of the day is the red in a big bloody mary. Going to have a party with my buddies, everybody have a great Thanksgiving.
Some tasteless funnies LOL but I like them.
Perverted Questions and Answers
> This series of questions and answers are
> absolutely tasteless, lewd and downright crude ....
> which explains why I couldn't stop laughing!!
> What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
> Goes-in-tight!
> What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
> Depends...
> What's 68?
> You do me and I owe you one.
> What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
> Gagged!
> What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
> A tearjerker.
> What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
> Popeye almost killed him!
> Why do they say eating yogurt and oysters
> will improve your sex life?
> Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
> How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
> Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
> What's the definition of a teenager?
> God's punishment for enjoying sex.
> What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
> Nice Dick!
> What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
> Toys for Twats.
> What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
> S&M&M.
> Why do we have orgasms?
> How else would we know when to stop?
> What's the definition of indefinitely?
> When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in...definitely!
> Define Transvestite:
> A guy who likes to eat, drink and BE Mary!
> How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
> By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
> What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
> They are both used as substitute meat.
> What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
> Two Mennonite!
> How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
> His hand caught fire.
> Why is sex like a game of bridge?
> If you have a good hand, you don't need a good partner.
> What do you call a smiling Roman with
> pubic hair between his teeth?
> Gladiator!
> Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank
> than at the Blood Bank?
> Sperm is handmade.
> How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
> Put a nipple on it.
> What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
> Slow down and use a lubricant.
> ``````````````````````````````````````````````
> ```
> Modern Day Nursery Rhymes
> Jack and Jill
> Went up the hill
> To have a little fun-
> Stupid Jill
> Forgot the pill
> And now they have a son.
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Mary had a little lamb
> Her father shot it dead
> Now it goes to school with her
> Between two hunks of bread
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
> Her clothes all tattered and torn.
> It had not been the spider that crept up beside her But Little Boy Blue
> and his horn.
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Simple Simon met a Pieman
> Going to the fair
> Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
> What have you got there?
> Said the Pieman unto Simon
> Pies, you dickhead!
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> There was a little girl, who had a little curl Right in the middle of
> her forehead
> And when she was good, she was very very good But when she was bad she
> got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car......
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
> humpty dumpty had a great fall
> all the kings horses and all the kings men had scrambled eggs on toast
> for breakfast
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Hickory dickory dock,
> Three mice ran up the clock
> the clock struck one,
> and the others got away with minor injuries
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Hey diddle, diddle,
> the cat did a piddle,
> all over the bedside clock,
> The little dog laughed to see such fun
> And the cat died of electric shock.
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Mary had a little lamb,
> It walked into a pylon,
> 10,000 volts went up it's arse,
> And turned it's wool to nylon.
> =A0=A0=A0=A0--
> Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie
> Kissed the girls and made them cry.
> When the boys came out to play
> He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
> ``````````````````````````````````````````````
> ```
> THE NEWLYWED WIFE ...
> Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drug store looking at the
> men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs
> assistance.
> I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know
> what type he uses.
> The clerk says,Is it the ball type?
> No, says Judi, it's for his underarms.
> ``````````````````````````````````````````````
> ```
> PMS in the Bible.........
> A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think
> of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the
> entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the
> service, he was approached by a woman who said Preacher, I don't
> believe the Bible mentions PMS. The preacher replied that he was sure
> it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it.
> The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman
> aside and showed her the PMS passage which read, ..........;And Mary
> rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.
>
>
>
> |
