Try truth for a change
Here is the speech that George W. Bush should give if he succeeds in turning
back the legal challenges now reaching their end in Florida and in the U.S.
Supreme Court.
``My advisors have handed me this prepared text and told me that I must stick
to it like a sandspur in a shag rug. But you, the American people, have heard
enough of the blah-blah from my lawyers and my spinners and y'all are as sick of
it as I am.
``So tonight I'm going to scrap the poll-tested crap I've been handed and try
something different. I'm going to tell you the God-honest truth and let y'all judge.
``Of course I'm going to start by saying that I'm pleased the election is finally
settled and that, at least according to the rules of the process -- as imperfect as
we've seen that they are -- I'm to be your president. I am humbled by that and, as
many of you would no doubt say, I have much to be humble about.
``I have no illusions about the quirky way that I arrived at this position, although
my lawyers, of course, couldn't ever let on. But my mom and dad didn't raise a
dummy, and I know as clear as a Texas summer sky that more people went into
their polling booths last Nov. 7 in Florida and elsewhere fully intending to vote for
my opponent rather than for me.
``Fact is, most of them surely thought they did vote for Al Gore and Joe
Lieberman. That's why when they came out and told the exit pollsters whom they
favored, these poll takers put it in their computers and then projected that Al had
beaten me. These numbers crunchers were so sure they had it right that they
called the race for him even before the voting booths had closed in the Panhandle.
``But the problem was that lots of his voters had made mistakes with their ballots.
You've heard all about that -- the dimpled chads; the double-punches; those Palm
Beach voters, lots of them Jewish, voting for Pat Buchanan because they were
bamboozled by that butterfly design. And that's not even to mention the other
thousands who got turned away on Election Day because the state screwed up in
getting their voter-registration numbers to the right precinct.
``I'm not particularly proud to say this, but rules are rules, and I won by the rules
that were in place. I wish I could say that I would have won otherwise, but I can't
and I won't. I am here by accident.
BEING HONEST IS A START
``But I am going to be president and sincerely want to be the president of all the
people. I want to try to earn the respect, if not the support, of those who voted for
my opponent and who now feel cheated. I know that won't be easy, but being
honest with you is a start.
``And here's what else I'll do. I know that more than half of you want somebody
besides me talking to you today. I'll respect your views, so you have my
assurance that I intend to work first on those issues where we have common
ground. You won't find me fixin' to consolidate power or to practice rule-or-ruin
politics.
``Also, I want to try and set right some of the problems that we've seen in this
election. I'll ask brother Jeb to demand that those damned punch-card voting
machines become artificial reefs off the Florida coast. And I'll ask my Republican
friends in the Legislature to work with Democrats to design a new ballot that's the
same in Pensacola as it is Palm Beach and Perrine.
``And Jeb should also make sure that, even if my race is settled, none of those
other problems that came up get swept under the rug. Some folks in Seminole
County and Martin County -- probably Republicans -- should get fired, if not
horsewhipped, for screwin' around with absentee ballots. And if I find out that
anybody tried to keep African Americans or anybody else away from voting, I'll get
the FBI on their backsides faster than a Texarkana tornado.
``And while I'm on Florida, I'll offer some counsel to my friend Katherine Harris and
my Republican supporters in the Legislature: I know y'all wanted to help me, and
maybe you stuck to the law, but the way you handled things, you looked like you
went to Newt Gingrich's charm school. Now you've made things really tough for
my little brother to be governor for all Floridians. As they say, with friends like you
. . . Oh, skip it.
``My fellow Americans, we've gone through a tough time. I can't change what
happened; I can't undo the result because it's the way the process worked this
time.
``But I can and will try to fix the problems we've found so that you don't lose faith
in the importance of your ballot. And I'll try to earn the trust of y'all who hate to
see me standing up here. If I do right, here's my hope: That in 2004 I'll win the
race again -- but that I won't do it by accident.''
tfiedler@herald.com |
