This morning Ammo asked me to proof an English paper. The assignment was to write a satire to show that you understood the concept.
HIs was on the privatization of the death penalty.
He thought we should take personal responsibility for it, rather than expect the government to foot the bill.
His proposal was that each month, we each are allowed one legal murder.
This is not a random license to kill, mind you. Each month will have a specific category of permissable termination. One month it will be business associates, the next will have a day for relatives. Actually, we may want two days for relatives, one for biological and one for in-laws.
Aw, what the heck, we'll give it a week: seven days, seven dead relatives. A festival! Christmas week!! Peace on Earth and a stack of dead relatives under the tree. This may be a tacky note, but it would greatly simplify Christmas shopping.
He then gave the rules:
1) It isn't cumulative. You can't save up a year of murders and then go into McDonald's one morning with a shotgun and ruin everyone's Egg McMuffin.
2) You can't hire anyone. You have to do it yourself, eye to eye. If you're squeamish, get over it.
3) Under no circumstances can you kill your own offspring. Of course, if they really deserve it, someone will do it for you, don't worry.
He says it is constitutionally sound as it's an extension of the right to pursue happiness.
Do you think we should worry? |
