Excellent post. Laughed myself silly.
Cheers, PW.
P.S.
Yesterday morning, when I went to the front door, I saw an unusual sight. My newspaper had been placed so I could reach it. This never happens. Also, there was a white envelope placed neatly on top of it.
Once back inside, I discovered the envelope contained a Christmas card. Opening it, I also discovered that this card was from my newspaper delivery person, who, by the message written in the card will be away for two weeks before Christmas. Why doesn't this person (I'd use he or she, but I've we've never met.) just be blunt about it and say that because they'll be taking a winter vacation, I should cough up the tip a few weeks early and not leave it until just before Christmas because some temporary fill-in person will benefit from my holiday generosity and make out like a bandit.
The middle weeks of December is the only time I'm not forced to crawl under the bushes fetching soggy, muddy, mangled papers. Thanks to the delivery prowess of these people, I've been on very familiar terms with hedge ecology, ditch water management, and wind power as it applies to newsprint. One spring, my mailbox door was left open after the newspaper was delivered, and a starling began building its nest. I'm sure you know that before actual construction begins, starlings lay a foundation of bird-shit and, because they are so fond of shit, also mark the boundary of what the consider 'theirs' with the same material. They also shredded much of the paper. I used the garden hose to clean the mess and read what remained of the paper in the garage.
Now, these people think my memory is so short that a few deliveries made in a manner that should set the standard all year will cause me to forget the annoyingly shoddy practices I've endured. Well not this year.
After reading the paper, I replaced it exactly as I found it, card on top too. Now let him believe that he's not the only one who vacations at this time of year.
Sure enough, today's paper was placed on top of yesterday's, and the card was gone. Probably re-cycled to someone else.
Cheers, PW. |
