Silly environmentally conscious X, nature hasn't a chance when confronted by the demands of a decadent, greedy, selfish culture.
Besides, all the trees in our yard are peering in the windows jealously, wondering why this ugly, bald, droopy tree with a violent personality disorder is being treated like a king.
(Did you see him attack that woman last night? The screaming was terrible! And she crawled away sobbing while the man just helped him!
You should have called 1-800-wife abuse!)
The idea of leaving a tree up forever is very appealing; we once had a tree inthe living room from Thanksgiving to March. By then, it was so dead, we were afraid to breathe near it, knowing that a slight jolt would send every remaining needle to a puddle at its desiccated foot, leaving only the skeletal remains of our past joy. I don't remember what finally happened to it; it may have just disappeared in a poof of dust one warm day. |
