Don't forget Alec Baldwin!
Here's a reprint from webcolumnists.com
Mr. Baldwin, Your Plane is Ready For Departure...
I have a proposition for Mr. Alec Baldwin.
Now, before I do this, let me first make sure all readers have a clear picture on where Mr. Baldwin stands vis a vis the election results. To put it directly, I believe he stated in no uncertain terms that he would depart these great United States in the event the election resulted in the election of Texas Governor George W. Bush. That, he predicted, would be the single greatest threat to the security and survival of this fragile union.
Thank God for the patriotism of this truly great American. Without such an offer of supreme sacrifice to offer the absence of his magnificent presence from our great shores, how could there be any other outcome but the election of Albert Gore?
Well, I am afraid now it is my clear duty to inform Mr. Baldwin that the time is nigh to make that great sacrifice (given the recent unfortunate court developments for Mr. Gore). Yes, I know...this perilous result may cause the Great Majority to rise up in a much greater indignation than something so trivial as a close election race. For Christ's sake, we're talking about the loss of nothing less than a National Treasure here!
Now, in case Mr. Baldwin has not yet made proper arrangements to take up citizenship in a much more civilized and less fascist nation as this one, let me make a few humble suggestions, one of which I will happily process the needed passports, travel arangements etc. to ensure the 'promise' is kept.
How about Cuba, Alec? I am sure they are much more concerned about compassion and fairness than this country, eh? A little too close to the stench of the USA? Hmmm, well your friends in the Clinton Administration seemed to like China a lot, and let's face it, they are much warmer to your political views than this country will ever be.
Wherever you go, please make it soon, ok? After all, we wouldn't want to suggest that you are not a man of your word! |
