Ghost of Christmas Past
------------ 1992 Party ---------------
My dear great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great grandson Giovani Mateo (that's Italian for John Mathew), It gives me great honor and pleasure that you have taken our family name for your company. I assure you that the name Amati is free of all copyrights, trademarks, and Costra Nostra affiliations. Your grandmother, Decibel, and I want you -- and not that Japaneese automated horse-cart company -- to use it.
I am especially pleased that our now half-millenium-old tradition of Christmas parties is being continued - it is a wonderful way to give those ingenious Amati employees, consultants, board members, Stanford friends, and Guy a few hours away from the shop, BUT ONLY a FEW. I am also pleased with these particular employees and consultants, all of whom exhibit a high level of creativity, productivity, enthusiasm, and perspiration to honor our family name in the hopes of increasing their personal wealth. We adopt them, every last one of them. Please remind them that in the spirit of Christmas that they should forgive individuals and companies in New Jersey who, not being sufficiently competent to design a competitive system, have resorted to character defamation, attenuator insertion, and outright lying to try to smear the Amati good name.
As family members, I can now bequeath to them the following Christmas presents based on my scanning of their thoughts for christmas wishes:
1. Miraculous slam-dunk 15 dB performance margins in the Bellcore tests using the world's finest transmission system,
2. various frankensense, deoderants, and perfumes,
3. an ANSI line-code standard of multicarrier,
4. a set of hand-cuffs,
5. a better copy machine,
6. the inexplicable theft of Dave Waring's attenuator the day before testing,
7. a profit in 1993,
8. a local-area network,
9. and, most importantly, more candy for the candy cup on Jan's desk.
Having so bequeathed, I would like to close by sincerely wishing the entire Amati family the very merriest of Christmas's, and peace and happiness throughout the new year,
Nicolai Amati,
December 20, 1992
----------------1994 Party --------------------
Codicle to 1992Bequeathment
January 6, 1995
My dear great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great grandson Giovani Mateo (that's Italian for John Mathew), Your grandmother, Decibel, and I want again to express our sincere gratitude to all the hard-working employees for furthering our family name, Amati, during 93 and 94. We remain especially pleased that our now 500-year tradition of Christmas parties is being continued - We join all Amati employees in expressing special thanks to Jan Linestrone for her organizing efforts. (My, my, the "Palace" - not that dive you had 2 years ago.)
We remain pleased with the growing Amati team of employees, consultants, professors, students, pesky international visitors, and Lalo, all of whom continue to exhibit a high level of creativity, productivity, enthusiasm, and perspiration to honor our family name in the hopes of increasing their personal wealth. Please remind them again that in the spirit of Christmas that they should forgive individuals and companies in New Jersey, said inviducuals not being sufficiently competent to design a competitive system, have resorted to character defamation, sleazy marketing tricks, and outright lying to try to smear the Amati good name.
And now I cut to the chase - our bequeathing of 1995 presents to Amati:
As a reminder - we'd just like to review our success on 1992 bequeathments from the original will that you found in the attic:
1992 Bequeathments:
1. Miraculous slam-dunk 15 dB performance margins in the Bellcore tests using the world's finest transmission system - RIGHT ON, 1/1
2. 2. various frankensense, deoderants, and perfumes, (still needed on occassion but its better, 2/2)
3. an ANSI line-code standard of DMT, BINGO!!! (3/3)
4. a set of hand-cuffs (no one claimed them, 4/4),
5. a better copy machine (you got it and still want more, 5/5),
6. the inexplicable theft of David Waring's attenuator the day before testing (well he didn't wind up needing it anyway, 6/6),
7. a profit in 1993 (sorry,6/7),
8. a local-area network (whoops - still sneaker net; 6/8),
9. and, most importantly, more candy for the candy cup on Jan's desk (still lacking on occassion - SUPERSLAM, 7/9!!).
7/9 is not bad for someone in Heaven:
Now for 1995:
1. A smiling picture of John Bingham on all products.
2. Major ADSL product orders around the globe, its ok that you can't fill them, AT&T can't either.
3. A shorter path from engineering to the men's room.
4. A special employee whose only job is to make more coffee,
5. The word BIGTIME replacing the word SHOWTIME on the Amati product hex display
6. Special office girders that prevent the sky from falling
7. A copy machine that accepts originals right-side up.
8. Working VLSI, not POtato, chips
9. Try Again - A profit in 1995.
10. Finally, a real computer network and an Amati.com internet connection.
Having so augmented my bequeathments, I want like to close by sincerely wishing the entire Amati family success, happiness, confidence in the new year - 1995 is going to be a fantastic year for Amati - hang in there and give it all you got - it will pay off, BIGTIME.
Nicolai Amati,
January 6, 1995
p.s. - Tell Liz to put $5 down on the BEARS for me, 17 points is arrogantly ridiculous.
---------------- 1996 Party -------------------
FINAL Codicle to 1992/4Bequeathments
December 19, 1996
My dear great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson John and now also to our great nephew Ronaldo Carlini, Yes, its true that while a long-kept secret, I, Nicolai, am Saint Nicholas and have been so for 500 years. I began originally by delivering only violins to very deserving Kings and Queens, then progressed to distributing small unlicensed hand-guns while wearing a red suit, and then finally expanded into Children's toys after hiring a Irish promoter named O'Grady.
I begin: This is the last (REALLY the last) codicile to the Amati corp will and bequeathments - now that you're all fancy and public you'll not need me any more:
Your grandmother, Decibel, and I would like to express our sincere gratitude to all the hard-working employees for furthering our family name, Amati, during 95 and 96. We remain especially pleased that our now 500-year tradition of Christmas parties is being continued - In regard to that tremendous party at the Marriott, we join all Amati employees in expressing special thanks to Jimmy Steenzioli. All Amatians should especially also thank him for that snazzy new Palace you all now inhabit.
What ever happened to that dive where you read the first will?
We remain pleased with the growing Amati team of employees, consultants, academics, all the nice people from ICOT, Dave's Amati truck on the back lot, designers, the tent, carnivores and board members, and lastly Tac.
They all continue to exhibit a high level of creativity, productivity, enthusiasm, and perspiration to honor our family name in the hopes of increasing the NASDAQ price on their option shares. Please remind them again that in the spirit of Christmas that they should again forgive individuals and companies in New Jersey, who have nothing but lies to sell.
And now I, St. Nicolai, will cut to the chase - our bequeathing of 1996 presents to Amati:
As a reminder - we'd just like to review our success on 1992/4 bequeathments from the original will that you found in the attic:
1992/4 Bequeathments:
1. Miraculous slam-dunk 15 dB performance margins in the Bellcore tests using the world's finest transmission system - RIGHT ON, 1/1
2. various frankensense, deoderants, and perfumes, (still needed on occassion but its better, 2/2)
3. an ANSI line-code standard of DMT, BINGO!!! (3/3)
4. a set of hand-cuffs (no one claimed them, 4/4),
5. a better copy machine (you got it and still want more, 5/5),
6. the inexplicable theft of David Waring's attenuator the day before testing (well he didn't wind up needing it anyway, 6/6),
7. a profit in 1993 (sorry,6/7),
8. a local-area network (whoops - till sneaker net; 7/8),
9. and, most importantly, more candy for the candy cup on the secretary's desk (still not enough, 7/9!!).
On 1994 - to make a long story short, you'll have to trust my grandson John that I got them all right except for the one about a smiling picture of John Bingham on every product. 18/20 - that is 90%!!! 90% is not bad for St. Nick (ever get a present you didn't want under the tree?):
And now for 1996:
1. Another truck along the freeway fence in the back lot.
2. A whiteboard for a certain professor's office.
3. Herb Greenmouth of the SF newspaper will be forced to recommend that everyone buy Amati after being caught by the SEC in a precarious physical position with various AT&T spin-out company personnel.
4. A smiling picture of Santa Claus somewhere at Amati!
5. Pictures of Amati family violins in the board room provided by CHRIS
Barnes - so what you already have it, everyone thank Christopher!
6. A big order, finally.
7. One profitable quarter (playing it safe here).
8. AT&T Lucent Bell Labs finally admits they made a bad mistake with CAP and DMT really is better.
9. Wedding bells for a well-respected Lady Doctor.
10. A huge investment so we can pay off the debt on a certain Amati office.
Having so finalized my last bequeathments, I must pass on to new horizons and ventures here in Heaven (John B can have the St. Nick job now). I would like for this last time to close by sincerely wishing the entire Amati family success, enormous prosperity, and most of all happiness as you
pass into a future of unprecedented opportunity.
Nicolai Amati,
December 19, 1996
p.s. - GO BULLS!
----------------1998 final----------------------
Dear Grandson and our Adopted Children,
My grandson disturbed my peaceful rest one last time at the request of investors, many of whom took the Amati personna to new heights with their enthusiasm. Your grandmother, Decibel, and I are exceedingly proud of the efforts of the many employees, consultants, contractors, control-freaks, support people, dedicated investors, highly competent and motivated TI friends, and George for their efforts to bring all to a conclusion. All have worked long hard hours to bring great wealth to all your prior perspirations and tribulations, accompanying it with new opportunity. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
As you know, the Amati name became famous for the students of our violin manufacturing technique, which still has produced the greatest collections of tones ever heard. Those students went on to become more famous than our family, enhancing our quality and ideas to the adulation of an adoring musical world. Take care that you all are our students, and we pass to you the responsibility and knowledge to carry forward the success also in teaching the phone lines of the world to sing with new beautiful arias of enormous content.
As we pass finally beyond the Amati experience, let our last bequeathment to you, following all those for 92,94,96 (90% still pretty good!), with one that is 100% certain:
Matriculation to the capable hands of your friends in Texas and beyond unto the phone lines of the world. The original goal of DMT on every phone line in the world will happen through your capable hands, students of Amati, and all the friends and co-students you've enabled throughout the world. Take care that the success of a teacher is everlasting.
Our only regret is that this letter will have to suffice, circumstances prevent our bidding you all the warmest of "buona notte" and continued prosperity in person.
Yours finally,
Nicolai Amati,
February 27, 1998 |
