Dear Neo, I hope you won't mind sharing this post with Joel and Chris:
Before reading the last five messages, I had a deep and lengthy chat with a very dear friend who is familiar with this thread. Then I read your, Neo's, absolutely delightful description of a family feast on the pleasures of NYC.
The effect of the above two experiences has left me limpid and starstruck, soft, smiling. An experience approaching the warmth of love.
My recent incursion into the thread was made to divert myself. I wanted a temporary passtime - to keep me busy and entertained.
The word entertained is crucial. Because I came to play. And I chose Joel and Chris to play with. Sort of like keyboard fencing, scoring points, testing the wits.
My friend cited several truly mean comments I made during this game. She asked if Monica would approve if I conducted myself like that on somebody else's thread.
Without elaborating excessively, I must admit that Joel's request for deletion just about capped my whole spiritual or sentimental epiphany.
Within every person, Suzie remiinded me, is a sense that he or she is doing the right thing. Then I stand, outside people, and slap at them. Not good. Not good at all.
So, genuinely, let me thank you, Neo, for your stimulating description of an extraordinary visit. Let me say, Joel, that I do respect your concerns for Monica. You express them in your fashion. I have no excuse for barging in with sarcasm and criticism. And, Chis, stay with your version of the divine. Enjoy your devotion even though others may chide you for your expression of it.
It's not even ten in the morning, and I have that welling-up of good will that usually is located at midnight 12/31.
The very best to all of you. Now, for the next year. For all time. Our differing loves for Monica meld to make us sort of buddies in spirit.
I will keep this sense of considerate restrain within me, I hope. I hope. I hope.
And I hope that my previous posts will not be deleted. This is so they can serve as examples of what I have just now come to realize as really foul play. |
