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Strategies & Market Trends : VOLTAIRE'S PORCH-MODERATED
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To: Jim Willie CB who wrote (28109)1/3/2001 3:08:24 PM
From: Jim Willie CB  Read Replies (2) of 65232
 
My Dog Sex

For protection, my father bought me a German Shepherd dog. Everyone gives a dog some normal name like Rover or Sammy. I call mine Sex. Now Sex is a very embarrassing name for me to deal with.

One day I took Sex for a walk, and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him. A cop came over to me and asked “What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?” I said “I am looking for Sex.” My case goes to court on Thursday.

One day I went to City Hall to get a dog license and told the clerk, “I would like to have a license for Sex.” He replied “I would like to have one also.” To which I said “But this is a dog.” And he said he didn’t care how she looked. Then I attempted to explain “You don’t understand, I had Sex since I was two years old.” He shot back “You must have been a remarkable little boy.”

I told the clerk that my wife and I have separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I pleaded “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said “Me too.” Then I told him I once had Sex on television. He called me “Showoff.” I told him it was a contest and he said that I should have sold tickets. I also mentioned to the judge about the time when my wife and I were on our honeymoon and we took the dog, Sex. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, but a special room for Sex. The hotel attendant tried to make it clear to me that every room in the hotel was for Sex. Then I urged “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me up at night.” The man said “Me too.”

I give up.
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