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Pastimes : Scamelot, a dedicated thread to Cyto in Orlando
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To: Jim Bishop who wrote (331)1/24/2001 7:48:44 AM
From: CIMA  Read Replies (1) of 349
 
Some of these are very good.
-

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
whole relationships."
-- Sharon Stone

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of
an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who
do."
-- Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter
what she's reading."
-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by
a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."
-- Dan Rather (News anchorman)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on
it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
-- Arnold Schwarzenneger

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake
that, you're in."
-- Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends")

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a
sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black
pimps."
-- Tiger Woods

"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive
scrotum!'"
-- Patricia Arquette

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live
inpoverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are
apparently doing quite well for themselves."
-- the late Jerry Garcia (now one of the truly "Grateful Dead")

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about
to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."
-- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)

"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer.
But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
-- Rev. Jesse Jackson

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch."
-- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or
where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
-- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
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