To ALL:
Episode Alert ! Episode Alert! Episode Alert
biz.yahoo.com
Due to the just announced report regarding the huge loss the production
of Xecom sit-com has incurred, we interrupt the already scheduled programs
to bring you this special episode of Xecom for your philosophical and
intellectual pleasures!
As you may recall in the last episode (toward the end of the show)
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it was mentioned that this week's episode would be inspired by the movie
The last days of Pompei, and would be titled The last days of Xecom!
As you will see, it is with great sadness that this week's episode will be
the last of the series as the production of Xecom comes to an end due
to low rating and a possible change of name by the executive producers
of Xecom to BaseLink Communications, Inc. (and not hopefully for
other reasons such as SEC investigation, bankruptcy, etc.)!!
Tonight's episode, as mentioned, is titled The last days of Xecom!
Music, drums. and the theme song:
techstocks.com.
In a SEE-BS press conference the produces of Xecom in a late announcement
declared that the production of the sit-com has incurred huge losses for
the year ended December 31, 1996. During this period (1996) the show had a
net loss of $4,823,865, or $.55 per share, compared to a net loss of $782,210,
or $.21 per share in 1995 (150% increase in the loss from the year earlier)!
The executive producer of the show stated:
Approximately $1.620 million of the loss did not relate directly to
the operations of the Company. !
A SEE-BS reporter asked the question: "How can money be spend without having
to do directly with the the company?!". The question was vaguely answered in
the following format:
The Company realized a loss on its Teletek holdings of approximately
$628,000, and another loss on assets to be disposed totaling $291,000 and
booked reserves of $700,000 on legal actions. The Company also incurred
depreciation and interest expense of approximately $950,000 and $970,000
respectively for a total of $1.92 million. ``Approximately 90% of the costs
of the building of the telecommunication systems on the military bases
were incurred in 1996.
Immediately after this interesting answer, the SEE-BS reporter incurred
an injury to his head and was immediately taken to a nearby hospital! It
was rumored dirty harry may have been involved in the incurred
physical injury!
Another SEE-BS reporter cautiously asked: "We were under the impression
by the promoters and consultants to the show that the company will be getting
a lot of contracts from various sources and therefore huge
revenues will be generated. What happened?". His question was again answered
vaguely in the following manner:
Accordingly operating and administrative costs far exceeded revenues
and will continue during the ramp-up stage of the project until the company
signs up enough subscribers to meet those costs.
The reporter then was heard to mumble: "yeah. and if I select the correct
lottery numbers, I can also win the California lottery next Saturday!".
At this point the crowd was disrupted and an extreme injury occurred to
this reporter's head also! He was immediately taken to the same nearby hospital!
Again rumors were spreading among SEE-BS reporters in the conference that
dirty harry and his followers might have had something to do with
that injury!
No further news on the conditions of the two SEE-BS reporters are known at
this time.
The producers of the show then asked for more questions. However all SEE-BS
reporters while holding on to their heads did not seem to have any further
questions!!! At this time the executive producer of the the sit-com while
thanking all the SEE-BS reporters and viewers said:
Our subscriber base has more than doubled since December.
Some reporters quietly stated: "It is like they are paying the subscribers
to subscribe to Xecom and for every dollar ordered by the subscriber,
Xecom pays $2 to the subscribers!". Fortunately no official at the SEE-BS
press conference heard the comments, and no further head injuries occurred!
As the executive producers of the Xecom sit-com were leaving the SEE-BS
press conference they gave the sad news to this reporter that they are
planning to change the sit-com's name from Xecom to BaseLink Communications.
When I expressed my strong protest against such action (while covering my head
to protect it from possible injuries), the officials explained:
"It is in the tradition of the sit-com to change its name every 3 years
or so in order to bring excitement to the show! We view that as the only
means to get ratings on our shows, and to forget about the past poor ratings!",
the executive producer stated as he was leaving to prepare for another
SEE-BS press conference!
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